Gay Parrot

One day this gay homosexual decides he’d like to have a new pet and goes to the local pet store.

Looking around he sees a parrot sitting on a little perch; it doesn’t have any feet or legs. The guy says out loud, “Geez, I wonder what happened to this parrot?”

“I was born this way,” says the parrot. “I’m a defective parrot.”

“Ha, ha,” the guy laughs. “It sounded like this parrot actually understood what I said and answered me.”

“I understand every word,” says the parrot. “I am a highly intelligent and thoroughly educated bird.”

“Yeah?” the guy asks. “Then answer this: how do you hang onto your perch without any feet?”

“Well,” the parrot says, “this is a little embarrassing, but since you asked, I will tell you. I wrap my little parrot penis around this wooden bar, kind of like a little hook. You can’t see it because of my feathers.”

“Wow,” says the guy, “you really can understand and answer; can’t you?”

“Of course I can. I speak both Spanish and English. I can converse with reasonable competence on almost any subject: politics, religion, sports, physics, philosophy. And I am especially good at ornithology. You should buy me; I am a great companion.”

The guy looks at the $400.00 price tag. He says. “I can’t afford that.”

“Pssst,” the parrot hisses, motioning the guy over with one wing. “Nobody wants me because I don’t have any feet. You can get me for $30.00; just make an offer.”

The guy offers thirty bucks and walks out with the parrot. Weeks go by and the parrot is sensational. He’s funny; he’s interesting; he’s a great pal, he understands everything, sympathizes, and gives good advice. The guy is delighted.

One day the guy comes home from work and the parrot says, “Pssst,” and motions him over with one wing. The guy goes up close to the cage. “I don’t know if I should tell you this or not,” says the parrot, “but it’s about your lover and the mailman.”

“What?” asks the guy.

“Well,” the parrot says, “when the mailman came to the door today, your gay lover greeted him in a pair of briefs that showed everything and kissed him on the mouth.”

“What happened then?” asks the guy.

“Then the mailman came into the house and put his hand on your gay lovers crotch and began petting him all over,” reports the parrot.

“Oh My Goodness!” the guy says. “Then what happened?”

“Then he pulled down his briefs, got down on his knees and began to lick him, starting with his chest, slowly going down and down.” The parrot pauses for a long time…

“What happened? What happened?” says the frantic homosexual.

“That’s what pisses me off. I don’t know.” said the parrott. “I got a hard-on, and fell off my fucking perch.”


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