Funny Quotes
How about some funny quotes from some famous people? What's your favorite? Do you have more to add? Post them in the comments section!
- Sometimes, when I look at my children, I say to myself, "Lillian, you should have remained a virgin." - Lillian Carter (mother of Jimmy Carter)
- I had a rose named after me and I was very flattered. But I was not pleased to read the description in the catalog: "No good in a bed, but fine against a wall." - Eleanor Roosevelt
- Last week, I stated this woman was the ugliest woman I had ever seen. I have since been visited by her sister, and now wish to withdraw that statement. - Mark Twain
- By all means, marry. If you get a good wife, you'll become happy; if you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher. - Socrates
- I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury. - Groucho Marx
- My wife has a slight impediment in her speech. Every now and then she stops to breathe. - Jimmy Durante
- I have never hated a man enough to give his diamonds back. - Zsa Zsa Gabor
- My luck is so bad that if I bought a cemetery, people would stop dying. - Ed Furgol
- Money can't buy you happiness... but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery. - Spike Milligan
- What's the use of happiness? It can't buy you money. - Henny Young
- Until I was thirteen, I thought my name was shut up. - Joe Namath
- Youth would be an ideal state if it came a little later in life. - Herbert Henry Asquith
- I don't feel old. I don't feel anything until noon. Then it's time for my nap. - Bob Hope
- We could certainly slow the aging process down if it had to work its way through Congress. - Will Rogers
- Don't worry about avoiding temptation... as you grow older, it will avoid you. - Winston Churchill
- By the time a man is wise enough to watch his step, he's too old to go anywhere. - Billy Crystal
What'd You Think?
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Alcohol the cause and solution to all of lifes problems Homer Simpson
everyones entitled to be stupid but you’re abusing the privelige!!! – unknown
(in dead silence not near chirstmas) MERRY CHISTMAS!
~andrea karbasky
to win you must first succeed, but to succeed you must first win – Nick Gutkin
Look T, I’m not gonna tell you how to raise your kid but over the years I have come to beleive that sticking your fingers in your ears and hummimg loudly solves a whole slew of problems- General Jack O’Niell.
quisiera saver quien es andrea karbasky porque yo soy miriam karbasky
The irony of life is that each age group wishes to be the other one-children want to be adults,adults want to be children.
We will not have some nosy reporter going through our files because we are the president.-Hillary Clinton
Top 10 reasons why golf is better than sex: 1. Choice of public or private courses 2. Lessons are available
“All the adversity I had in my life, all my troubles and obstacles, have strengthened me…You ma not realize it when it happens, but a kick in the teeth may be the best thing in the world for you.” ～Walt Disney
“Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you will still land among the stars.” -Les Brown
“I don’t hate people, I just feel better when they aren’t around.” ～Charles Bukowski (1920-1994)
“I’d have to climb to the top of the roof if I was going to jump off. I’m too lazy for that kind of stuff” (I don’t know who said that!)
“Love is the only force capable of transforming an enemy into a friend” ～Martin Luther King Jr.
“Problems, boy, are like skunks: you can either run away from them or confront them, but whichever you choose you will end up regretting your decision, and afterwards people will say that you stink.”
– Nell Gwynn