Funny Fortune Cookie Fortunes
One of the best things about eating Chinese food is the fortune cookie you get at the end of your meal. Often insightful, normally we get stuff like “You will succeed through your charm and personality.” Well, not today! Here are some funny (or unlucky) fortunes you hope you will (or never) open.
- Help! I’m being held prisoner inside a Chinese bakery.
- The ’special sauce’ came from (insert nasty here)!
- Guess what our special ‘drop’ was in our Egg Drop Soup and win a free meal!
- Your colon will self destruct in five seconds.
- Only a fool would look to a cookie for words of wisdom.
- A recent prison escapee that is sitting near by wants to love you long time.
- Your dog Sparky… well, he’s no longer missing.
- See the waiter about our new food poison life insurance policies.
- You will need good reading material in approximately 15 minutes.
- Please don’t eat me. I love you.
- Good things are being said about you… in bed.
- MSG? No! Ebola Virus… maybe.
What'd You Think?




September 18th, 2007 at 3:24 pm
Another one that actually happened was
All your base are belong to us!
October 10th, 2007 at 10:29 am
haha! i love chinese food and these are hilarious but im scared to eat it now!
October 19th, 2007 at 3:00 pm
Here’s One: Since you ate the egg roll, you cant say youve never tasted penis
October 21st, 2007 at 5:00 am
another is: “and you thought that was duck”
November 14th, 2007 at 6:09 pm
there’s one: that wasn’t rice
April 7th, 2008 at 3:43 pm
My favorite is “don’t kiss an elephant on the lips today.” Utterly bizarre and funny at the same time.
April 13th, 2008 at 12:36 pm
here’s on : “Never trouble trouble till trouble trouble’s you”
August 6th, 2008 at 3:55 pm
Those are really funny. Can you submit them in my website: http://www.mychinesefortune.com/ ? It is a website that allow anyone to write funny fortune cookies and will be randomly selected and show it to other users.