Funny Fortune Cookie Fortunes
One of the best things about eating Chinese food is the fortune cookie you get at the end of your meal. Often insightful, normally we get stuff like "You will succeed through your charm and personality." Well, not today! Here are some funny (or unlucky) fortunes you hope you will (or never) open.
- Help! I'm being held prisoner inside a Chinese bakery.
- The 'special sauce' came from (insert nasty here)!
- Guess what our special 'drop' was in our Egg Drop Soup and win a free meal!
- Your colon will self destruct in five seconds.
- Only a fool would look to a cookie for words of wisdom.
- A recent prison escapee that is sitting near by wants to love you long time.
- Your dog Sparky... well, he's no longer missing.
- See the waiter about our new food poison life insurance policies.
- You will need good reading material in approximately 15 minutes.
- Please don't eat me. I love you.
- Good things are being said about you... in bed.
- MSG? No! Ebola Virus... maybe.
What'd You Think?
(80 votes, average: 2.58 out of 5)
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Another one that actually happened was
All your base are belong to us!
haha! i love chinese food and these are hilarious but im scared to eat it now!
Here’s One: Since you ate the egg roll, you cant say youve never tasted penis
another is: “and you thought that was duck”
there’s one: that wasn’t rice
My favorite is “don’t kiss an elephant on the lips today.” Utterly bizarre and funny at the same time.
here’s on : “Never trouble trouble till trouble trouble’s you”
Those are really funny. Can you submit them in my website: http://www.mychinesefortune.com/ ? It is a website that allow anyone to write funny fortune cookies and will be randomly selected and show it to other users.
Here is one:
If you grow up to be famous you ow me $100 because i totally called it!
I had one that said ” kiss the person sitting next to you”
by the time you have finished reading this fortune you will have just noticed you wasted 10 seconds of your life
i saw one ‘that wasn’t chicken’
My fortune cookie was so stale that the fortune had already occured.