Funny Fortune Cookie Fortunes

One of the best things about eating Chinese food is the fortune cookie you get at the end of your meal. Often insightful, normally we get stuff like “You will succeed through your charm and personality.” Well, not today! Here are some funny (or unlucky) fortunes you hope you will (or never) open.

  • Help! I’m being held prisoner inside a Chinese bakery.
  • The ‘special sauce’ came from (insert nasty here)!
  • Guess what our special ‘drop’ was in our Egg Drop Soup and win a free meal!
  • Your colon will self destruct in five seconds.
  • Only a fool would look to a cookie for words of wisdom.
  • A recent prison escapee that is sitting near by wants to love you long time.
  • Your dog Sparky… well, he’s no longer missing.
  • See the waiter about our new food poison life insurance policies.
  • You will need good reading material in approximately 15 minutes.
  • Please don’t eat me. I love you.
  • Good things are being said about you… in bed.
  • MSG? No! Ebola Virus… maybe.

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