Funny Colonoscopy Comments
Lucky 13, that's just how many shocking comments this physician claimed his patients actually made while he was performing their colonoscopies. Enjoy! (Not referring to a colonoscopy that is...)
- "Take it easy Doc, you're boldly going where no man has gone before!"
- "Find Amelia Earhart yet?"
- "Can you hear me NOW?"
- "Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?"
- "You know in Arkansas we're now legally married."
- "Any sign of the trapped miners Chief?"
- "You put your left hand in, you take your left hand out..."
- "Hey! Now I know how a Muppet feels!"
- "If your hand doesn't fit, you must quit!"
- "Hey Doc, let me know if you find my dignity."
- "You used to be an executive at Enron didn't you?"
- "God, Now I know why I am not gay."
- "Could you write a note for my wife saying that my head is in fact not up there." (our favorite)
What'd You Think?
(68 votes, average: 4.15 out of 5)
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pls do some homework b4 putting these jokes up – the patient is given high dose of sedatives and the procedure is carried out while he is unconscious… its easier to laugh when made-up jokes are believable.
its still funny. god. the last one was the best though.
Krish, make sure your information is correct before you correct someone yourself. The patient is not always unconscious for this procedure. Sometimes, yes, but not all the time.
damn! now I feel like a wise guy! thanks for the correction. appreciate it. guess experience varies from person to person… Have a Happy New Year Tahnee! Hope you have a year filled with laughter!!
Krish…you are so wrong…..one does not get sedation before having a colonoscopy….at least no one that I have talked to and had it done has…..been there…..done that
lol, there funny.
Haha That Was Pretty Funny…
the last one is the best
Reminds me of how Obama must be feeling this month and next as the Jerimiha ‘Bullfrog’ Scope keeps being twisted during the continual proding.
Ouch. I bet Krish must be a bit embarassed. Personally I would like the sedation. Might be a guy with big hands.
Well, thankfully i havnt had to undergo this procedure myself – YET, that is (definitely dont want 2 speak too soon please!), but the people I had talked to who did do it, did say they were given sedatives n that they hardly felt anything since they were asleep for the most part… but of course like I sed, experiences can vary n different doctors may even follow different protocols as well… so my apologies if I offended any1 please..
Another funny was a guy (real story) who had colonoscopy done by physician friend asked doctor if he could have music other than “Dancing Queen” playing… Doc asked if he wanted him to increase the volume of the music, then the patient went under the anesthesia
I liked the last one it was the funniest…
funny as hell
As some one who recently had a colonoscopy I thought the jokes were hilarious! And, as an added bit of info, a lot of people have sigmoidscopies, which are almost always done without sedation. Colonoscopies are almost always done with. And the two procedures are worlds apart! But perhaps some on here are confusing them.
Ok, I’ve had 2 colonoscopies one at 28 and one at this year at 33. Both were done with sedation, however, it did not knock me out, I watched the whole procedure on the screen and remember everything. It was just uncomfortable but did not hurt. I even talked to my doctor asking him questions throughout. So, yes you can be awake even given sedation and my doctor told me he gave me the maximum amount for my weight which is 128. Sometimes the sedation works but for the rest of us anxious need to knows it does not!
After my routine procedure I told my wife, “Well they didn’t find cancer, but they found Jimmy Hoffa.” She thought that was funny. Maybe I should update that to Osama ben Laden.
Did anyone sing “The Long and Winding Road?”
To summarize, sigmoidoscopies are usually done without anesthetic so it is more uncomfortable. the scope does not travel as far up the colon as for a colonoscopy.
Colonoscopies are done with what is called conscious sedation. Whether you are asleep or awake, you are basically so loopy that you don’t notice the discomfort. You are not knocked out as under a general anesthetic. A general anesthetic is more dangerous, so it is not used unless necessary, such as for surgery.
the first joke could be turned into a riddle, although only for a person’s first colonoscopy.
Doc, how is this procedure like Star Trek? You are about to go where no one has gone before.
Joe Boss has a very funny video on Youtube about colonoscopy,
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q1diuoQdf4Y
It had me laughing,
Wally