French Jokes (Couldn’t Resist)
Man oh man, we've been collecting a bunch of short French jokes for quite some time now and I think it's finally time to post them all. But seriously... raise your hand if you like the French? Ok, now raise both hands if you are French! Hey, it's not like they didn't have it coming! Question [...]
(175 votes, average: 3.85 out of 5)
Loading ...
French Jokes (Couldn’t Resist)
What'd You Think?
(175 votes, average: 3.85 out of 5) Loading ...
Huzzah first to reply xD
so very very true…..
all of them….FUNNY!
and true.
I’m not French and also not here to argue, but i think that some of these jokes are quite horrible meaning that TO the French.
Im french and these are so true
haha freaking hilarious i hope the french dont take it too seriously though
on second thought lol who cares
Sure the not so serious jokes are funny, but the serious ones about the WWII isn’t. This is because probably thousands and millions of french people died for nothing. Just because the Germans were to greedy and wanted more land.
Sure take the piss outa them, but not over something so serious. I suppose they take the piss outa us, just not about our men dieing in war.
Hey … I’m frm India …i didn’t get it, r the french supposed to be peaceful or wat?
yeah funny an all but cmon!!! the surrender jokes got OLD!!! there french!!! theres so much more!!! and dude napoleon was french… he conquered over half the world… so yeah…
hhahahahha o man…
i peed a little.
Napoeleon was from corsica, the french have only been truly victorious when they are led by forigners
This is probably why the French hate us………..
However, keep in mind that the French greatly aided the United states gain its freedom from Britain. And America is the strongest military force in the world currently.
So technically, we(the strongest military power in the world) used to Owe France one
Also, an odd fact considering back armor, Genghis Khan actually made the armor on the back of his soldiers thinner so that they could be killed more easily if they tried to run.
Plus, Didn’t France (during tribal times as the gauls) have a hand in conquering Rome?
Three words. French Foreign Legion.
But the jokes were funny, especially the quotes!
estupid americans…but so true
Come on now,
The French aren’t pussies, during WWII, they fought too to recapture their land, ohh noo wait, they Took a bunch of people from their north african colonies and used them to fight under the French Flag, and then claimed the victory and said the French soldiers did it, then stoped paying these people their pensions after their countries got their independence,
The French are good at sucking, good one.
wow man thats stupid thats not even funny man thats stupid those arnt even jokes if you think tats funny ure an idiot
hey these jokes are cruel…..and when i say cruel i mean fricking awsome lol
Jokes are ok, not as cutthroat as I would like, but still funny. And French people are the shit stain in the underwear of the world!
the jokes are too funny and amusing…while some of it may be true,others are too exagerated and outright false…im neither a french nor an american but to call the french pussies and surrendering monkeys just because of world war II is too much…you guys ever heard of the free french forces?well even the brits makes use of their colonies to fight their wars..if the french were really the people you believe them to be they would not be one of the worlds richest and most powerful countries.
Hahaa, so funny!
I think I laughed at the two first jokes, then it just got old. It’s like the extremely old joke here (Sweden) that’s like
Q: what goes and goes but never gets to the door?
A: the clock
Q: what goes and goes but never gets to the door?
A: grandad who’s stuck with his pants in the roof
Q: what goes and goes but never gets to the door?
A: the hamster in the hamsterwheel
they go on and on forever. I don’t mean the answers, I mean the jokes. get new material.
these jokes are funny and so true
Coming from the battle field of Afghanistan and worked some french Soldiers, i don’t find those jokes funny. They are as good as we are, so who ever came up with those jokes need to grow up. As American we need to leave the french alone with jokes related to their army and start focusing on those that are killing our sons, daughters, sisters and friends, there are the ones that make fun fun of us while drinking tea over there…
Why are there so many tree-lined roads and leafy avenues in Paris?
Because Germans like to march in the shade.
The French are weak. The Marines are strong. Semper FIdelis.
To the American:
America does not owe anyone. France helped in the American Independence(from the British); America helped in WWII. The slate is clean.
The French are so coward that during WWII, apart from their North African territories, all had fallen under Vichy govt. They suck from fear even thousands of miles away.
Idk. I just
)
Ike the quotes Conan O’Brien is my hero. Lenos ok I gess
there favorite song before being declared war on is…why cant we be friends the color of ur skin dont matter to me as long as we can live in harmony.
What do you call a french army? target practice
This is so untrue! your jokes are not funny at all. French army is as good as we are ! this is a small country with a big past they know wars better than we do and before the united states were on the map so stop there guys, stop making fun of them and relax.You sould think about the loss of our people in those fu***g wars…
I’ve heard that are at least 7 ways to say “surrender” in french, maybe someone can enlighten us ? But it’s the fate for all the countries that hire mercs (or legionnaires) do do the fighting for them…Can you name the others ?
france only had 1 war hero, joan of ark, and they sold her to the enemy and napolian wasnt even french he somehow becae the ruler of france so for all of you ignorant pices of ****
As for Sid from India, I have to explain–
The French aren’t peaceful, they’re just useless.
mj– lol @ this is not true.
Here’s two examples for you–
Out of all the countries that started revolutions, France was the only one whose changed -nothing- in the end. (Historic Fact)
After continually being the ones to violently seek revenge against Germany, first in the Treaty of Versailles (eventually resulting in Hitler taking over Germany as a result of unfair rules set by said treaty) and then in the Munich Conference, they surrendered promptly when Germany finally invaded.
AP World History– So enlightening.
about that american of how we owe the french the only they did that was only because they wanted the colonist land and knowing that America would be weak from the victory against the British they formulated or attempted to try to attack the US, But America found out and began preperations.
Even though the French have Paris some still lives as rats
I live in France so these jokes have never been funnier! The french at school say how they won all their wars but being english we know where the white flag stands. They reckon that they played a major part in both world wars- whatever froggies! I love all the quotes, keep them coming cos they have never been as true! Vive L’angleterre!!
A small note to the Americans about freeing themselves from England. Might i remind these ingrates that they wouldn’t be in America or have freedom had it not been for the English. The British empire was greater than the Americans will EVER be. Keep that in mind when thinking that you’re the most powerful nation in this planet. they used to say, the sun never sets on the british empire. What do they say about you? As in the words of a very well educated scholar: Americans have different ways of saying things. They say “elevator”, we say “lift” … they say “President”, we say “stupid psychopathic git.”
I apologize profusly for my previous outburst, I was so overcome with emotion plus I was a little intoxicated. One too many Brandy’s… What I said earlier shouldnùt have been brought to your attention, please accept ,y heart felt apologies from the bottom of my heavily hungover heart. We love Presidant Obama and the progress he is making throughout the world as the first coloured presidant. Even though I couldn’t vote I believe the american citizans chose for themselves and the rest of the world a good man and not a ‘stupid Phychopathic git’ as I copied from ‘ThebestAmericanJokes.com’ I will submit a translation for the Americans grieved by this druken mistake: We’re sorry y’all, xx
THESE ARE HILARIOUS AND IM FRENCH!!!!
kya ghatia jokes hai yaar!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
good jokes yaar!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
LOL SO NOT FUNNY!!!
LOL OMG THIS BORING
supid jokes not intrested
ok there not a god army and racist andclaim victoris witch arnt these , your jokes are funny but how dare you say c*** like that they arnt gay ,they are nice (some arnt) poeple ok they think ther the best but they have big harts and ther welcoming,so the guy who said they were gay(frenchies=gay) f*** you go burn in hell the poeple who said narsty or critisisde them, wy the man who said those things nice things about the british empire,I salut you my freind long live the quene!!! long live england!!! britain never shall be slaves!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
they arnt gay !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! at all!!!!!!
OK eveyone chill out.
I personally find the jokes funny.
however they’re all just jokes for fun.
there is no need to get personal. we’re just laughing at some history, but we’re all allies when it gets down to business.
PS I respect the opinion of the soldiers saying to lay off.
thank you to the soldiers of all nations that have served and are serving in today’s conflicts.
Sorry but i find none of these jokes funny apart from this one: Q: Why don’t they have fireworks at Euro Disney?
A: Because every time they shoot them off, the French try to surrender.” Im french, so yeah sorry to be a party pooper but thoses questions/answers things sucks, it ain’t funny at all…
On the other hand i loved the quotes! most of them were really good: “Do you know it only took Germany three days to conquer France in WWII? And that’s because it was raining.” ~ John Xereas, Manager, DC Improv.
anyways have a good new year’s eve people!
PS: and for god’s sake stop saying that frenchs are gay, be honest with yourselves you’re just jealous we invented sex during day, lingerie, and we represent romanticism. it’s okay one day maybe America will understand
ahah cheers
Unforunate that the majority of these “jokes” posted are from Yanks and deal with the subject of French bravery. The Frogs were in the First and Second WW’s long before we showed up. And oh yeah, remind me again who sent a fleet to rescue and push over the the top the little skirimish in the south against Burgoine? Classic American wit(less).