Eats Shoots And Leaves
A panda bear walks into a bar and orders a sandwich. The waiter brings him the sandwich. The panda bear eats it, pulls out a pistol, kills the waiter, and gets up and starts to walk out. The bartender yells for him to stop. The panda bear asks, "What do you want?" The bartender replies, [...]
(133 votes, average: 3.89 out of 5)
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If you dont get thsi your retarded. “Eats-shoots-leaves. Pandas “eat”, then “shoot” then “leave”. Funny.
yeah funny… coz it seems ur the one who’s not getting it – “Eats shoots and leaves” here does not mean that pandas eat, then shoot, and then leave, but is referring to the fact that pandas actually eat shoots and leaves – that is, they eat the shoots and leaves of plants… lol genius!!!
LMAO Krish : )
hahaha…krish ur the man
this was freaken stupit
lol lol
dat was dumb
Su Madre u just messed up the whole joke ur retarded
This is NOT the best version of this joke, as it has TWO techincal mistakes. I used to work at a zoo. One of the first things we were taught is “Pandas aren’t bears and koala aren’t bears.” Also, pandas are mammals, not marsupials.
Find a better version of this cute joke, please!
You know something? The ‘comments’ here are by far funnier than the Panda joke itself. LOL
I have a feeling that Su Madre did that first comment on purpose!! I had a good laugh. God says in the Bible, “A merry heart doeth good like a medicine.” I’m feeling a lot better now!!
Also, the blood of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ cleanses us from all sin. Ask Jesus to forgive you of your sins and save you from hellfire and Jesus will do it. Guaranteed 100% for sure. – Peter
When I heard the joke the panda didn’t shoot anyone. It did however visit a female, ate her dinner had sex with her and then left. Is that funnier?
That is stupid man you got that from the book you idiot. The book was published in 2003 and its called Pandas eat, shoot, and leaves! Lamo why dont u make up your own original joke like why did the chicken croos the road?
He lost the joke entirely when he left out the comma after “Eats.”
The line in the joke should read, “Eats, shoots, and leaves.” It is supposed to be a badly edited field guide.
I think that the people who don’t like the joke, just don’ get it.
Erm, it should be “eats, shoots and leaves” not eats shoots and leaves. To write eats shoots and leaves is to miss the point. I love the original though!
LOL! @Bob- You said “Lamo” when you obviously meant “Lmao.”
“Laugh a** my off.”
LOL!
Facepalm @ Anonymous
I do believe that Bob meant what he typed with “Lamo” as in: Lame-o.
Look at it in context: “Lamo why dont u make up your own original joke…”
He is calling the person who stole the joke a lamo (lame-o)
jane -i dont know where you worked in a zoo, but it mustve been as a cleaner.
1. pandas are bears
2. marsupials are mammals
Maybe Bob meant to call the person a Lama, but spelled it wrong.
LOL. The comments on here are far funnier than the joke itself! Some people are just wound waaaay to darn tight. Some people have to point out the wrong in everyone else’s comments, but end up with their own comments sounding far dumber.
I needed a good laugh. Thanks people!
Wow, you lot are all stupid.
That joke is from a book. The book is about punctuation. The title is, “Eat, shoots and leaves”. The had a comma in his definition, that made it seem like as if he was meant to eat, then use a gun and shoot, then leave. In actual fact, without the comma it would say Panda’s eat shoots and leaves.
You are all dumb. Read the book then begin commenting.
True class! I’m glad you finished the punctuation book, Stephen. Now on to grammar: I’m taking it that you meant to say Pandas eat shoots and leaves?
That joke was taken for the author as an example of the problems in grammar, specially with punctuation. You can’t find the joke in the book. It is a joke about punctuation and different meanings of the same word. In this case, the word shoots is a plural noun referring a young leaf, not as the verb to shoot. Also in the cover of the book, you can see a panda painting the comma after “eats”. With the comma, the sentence “eats, shoots and leaves” is saying a panda eats and then shoots and then leaves. Without a comma, it is say a panda eats “shoots and leaves”. By the way, dont try to look clever indicating mistakes on my comment, I’m learning this language…
P.S.: Al, pandas dont go to restaurants or shoot people; they don’t speak eiter. This is just a nice joke. Grow up pal!
Su Madre
People still look at this and think YOU are a retard because you can’t spell “this”.
Now eat shoot and leave BEEYOTCH
Panda – go back to your cage to eat soots and leaveas humans alone !!!
retards or not
hahahahahaha! with or without punctuation this is funny!!
this was by far the best!!!!
Sock says:
November 1, 2010 at 4:04 pm
Maybe Bob meant to call the person a Lama, but spelled it wrong.