Dieting Tips

Finally, after all these years of trying yo-yo diets… phentermine, hoodia, cialis (no wait that’s for erectile dysfunction)… finally some diet tips that actually work. Enjoy feeling better about yourself.

1. If no one sees you eat it - it has no calories.
2. If you drink a diet soda with a candy bar they cancel each other out.
3. When eating with someone else, calories don’t count if you both eat the same amount.
4. Food used for medicinal purposes never counts such as: hot chocolate, brandy, toast and Sarah Lee cheesecake.
5. If you fatten up everyone else around you - then you look thinner.
6. Movie related foods don’t count because they are simply part of the entire entertainment experience and not part of one’s personal fuel; such as Milk Duds, popcorn with extra butter, and Junior Mints.

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Dieting Tips was written by F&J Staff on Saturday, July 28th, 2007 at 6:27 pm. It was filed under Jokes, Other Jokes. You can follow any responses to this entry through the Comments RSS feed. You may also be interested in reading ,  Relationship Tips,  Dieting Comics and Cartoons,  Why Women are Better Than Men 41-60,  Dieting Rules,  Rules Of The Modern World.