Dieting Tips

Finally, after all these years of trying yo-yo diets… phentermine, hoodia, cialis (no wait that’s for erectile dysfunction)… finally some diet tips that actually work. Enjoy feeling better about yourself.

  1. If no one sees you eat it – it has no calories.
  2. If you drink a diet soda with a candy bar they cancel each other out.
  3. When eating with someone else, calories don’t count if you both eat the same amount.
  4. Food used for medicinal purposes never counts such as: hot chocolate, brandy, toast and Sarah Lee cheesecake.
  5. If you fatten up everyone else around you – then you look thinner.
  6. Movie related foods don’t count because they are simply part of the entire entertainment experience and not part of one’s personal fuel; such as Milk Duds, popcorn with extra butter, and Junior Mints.

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