Democratic Beliefs
To Be A Democrat You Have To Believe That...
Virtually anyone can be a Democrat. Just simply quit thinking and vote that way. But if you want to be a GOOD Democrat, there are some prerequisites you must have first. Compare the below and see how you rate.
1. You have to believe the AIDS virus is spread by a lack of federal funding.
2. You have to believe that the same teacher who can't teach 4th graders how to read is somehow qualified to teach those same kids about sex.
3. You have to believe that guns, in the hands of law-abiding Americans, are more of a threat than U.S. nuclear weapons technology, in the hands of Chinese communists.
4. You have to believe that there was no art before Federal funding.
5. You have to believe that global temperatures are less affected by cyclical, documented changes in the earth's climate, and more affected by yuppies driving SUVs.
6. You have to believe that gender roles are artificial but being homosexual is natural.
7. You have to be against capital punishment but support abortion on demand.
8. You have to believe that businesses create oppression and governments create prosperity.
9. You have to believe that hunters don't care about nature, but loony activists from Seattle do.
10. You have to believe that self-esteem is more important than actually doing something to earn it.
11. You have to believe the military, not corrupt politicians, start wars.
12. You have to believe the NRA is bad, because it supports certain parts of the Constitution, while the ACLU is good, because it supports certain parts of the Constitution.
13. You have to believe that taxes are too low, but ATM fees are too high.
14. You have to believe that Margaret Sanger and Gloria Steinmen are more important to American history than Thomas Jefferson, General Robert E. Lee or Thomas Edison.
15. You have to believe that standardized tests are racist, but racial quotas and set-asides aren't.
16. You have to believe Hillary Clinton is really a lady.
17. You have to believe that the only reason socialism hasn't worked anywhere it's been tried, is because the right people haven't been in charge.
18. You have to believe Republicans telling the truth belong in jail, but a liar and sex offender belongs in the White House.
19. You have to believe that homosexual parades displaying drag, transvestites and bestiality should be constitutionally protected and manger scenes at Christmas should be illegal.
20. You have to believe that illegal Democratic party funding by the Chinese is somehow in the best interest of the United States.
What'd You Think?
(80 votes, average: 3.01 out of 5)
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what the hell are you all talking about because ther are some ward thing the you are talking sbout. and if that what you belive in then count me out please and thank you . please if you can take this down and put something beeter up some thing that people will like not grbuge
i think you should study both sides of the argument not just the bad points but also the good ones personaly i think ur an idiot for not doing tht
Amber, not everyone on the Internet is a Democrat. Many of us are not, and as such, we enjoy jokes like this. Just because you personally did not like the joke does not mean that it is a bad joke or that nobody will enjoy it. Personally, I thought it was very funny, and it’s certainly true that many Democrats hold exactly those beliefs.
looks like this was written by a narrow-minded republican, not that there is any other kind of republican…OBAMA ‘08
we want CHANGE WE CAN BELIEVE IN!
This is hilarious. Oh Amber, guess what most democrats actually hold those beliefs. Most democrats are nothing but inexperienced voters who are easily swayed by big words, dramatic speeches, and lies. Not that republicans aren’t liars, ’cause they are too. Every single politician are liars. The difference between Republicans and democrats is the fact that republicans are realistic and democrats are big dreamers. More of celebrities than politicians. Explain why 95% of colleges are democrat. Democrats don’t think logicly, they think about the fact that bush sucked and they want the exact opposite of that. But they don’t know what they are voting for. Obama is a big inexperianced dreamer, he says he’s gonna remove our reliability on natural gas in ten years. That’s bull I’m sorry, but it is. He wants to raise taxes, and pull the troops out of Iraq right when we start winning. I am Anti-war as much as the next guy but doing what he wants to do is dumb, we have been there how long? Think about Vietnam will you? We left and everybody called us spineless. Nobody remembered the soldiers, that is what will happen if we leave Iraq. You will see if Obama is elected that we should have voted in McCain and Palin.
you all are stupid. republicans can’t make up their minds, and you’re all a bunch of narrow minded fools that can’t see the freedoms of the people are important. you strip everyone of their sense of self, and make them into a clone of what you believe. shut up, you have no idea what you’re talking about. go ahead and keep your thousand year old “traditions” and run our country into the ground…oh wait, you already did that.
Truth obviously hurts or else you guys wouldn’t have your panties in a bunch over a joke. Some of the best jokes are the ones that based on reality. This one is GREAT!!!
Why do we have to attack one another. In my opinion neither Republican nor Democrats are right. Each one has “flaws” and neither plan seems prefect. I agree with some on both side and you can call me what you want… I am on the fence and I am scared to jump either way. So instead I will jump to Jesus Christ. In the end it doesn’t matter about who you vote for because God will be with us either way… just like he always has been. I feel like people get completly rediculous at election time. I think the best thing we should do is pray about who God wants us to vote for… Don’t let the world persuade your decision. I hope I don’t make anyone upset with my comment but in the end GOD IS IN CONTROL, NOT THE PRESIDENT!
WORD!
We could debate about this all day but honestly what are the purposes of these parties?Is it just for competition?There are valid beleifs in both sides of each party so why not unite?
THis is so much the truth! Thanks! Raciest Democrats!
Dana says
embrace differences diffuse hostlity. Having a discussion meanns that all sisdes are heard w/o name caling and forcing the other persons thought pattern. Why can’t you have the freedom to choose to beleive what you want and validate another persons choice to dis agree. grow a little. Blazen rrasin you are the only one who has a sensible diposition and practical outlook
since i am neither republican or a democrat i have to say that recently they both have run their parties into the ground. They all have good ideas but they throw the worst concepts into them. why does there need to be 10 million dollars spent on an animal that is going extinct. if people would be responsible then there would be no need for Government to get involved with anything. but the world seems to think that government needs to get into every ones business when they don’t need to do any of that! oh before i forget why would a democrat be on this site? if they were then are they not sure about their beliefs or what can i get an answer to that, please? And a great deal of these are true.
OBAMA SUCKS I HATE HIM and for all you dumb ass democrats this doesnt mean i am racist i just hate the man even if he was white i would hate him
obama sucks
you wanna know what obama stands for
O bama
B ig
A ss
M istake
A merica
you know why obama wants us out of iraq cause we are killing all of his family over there
I am a member of the democratic party, and I found this joke to be quite funny. Throughout my personal and professional development, I have learned that some of the rawest constructive criticism is found in the harshest of insults. Now many of times what is said may be some ignorant and unsubstantiated expression, but many of times, there is a lot of truth in the “maqui” of what is said. As far as SOME of the other comments in response to this joke, I am slightly embarrassed at the poor representation of the democratic party. Not only are we smarter, sharper, more professional, more logical, and paradoxically traditional & progressive, we are much better spellers than what I have seen typed above. LOL.
Come on though, people… it’s just a joke! If a stranger looked me in the face and called me fatso, more than likely, I need to reevaluate my dietary practices and exercise regiment. Or, if I am comfortable and confident in my health and appearance, then who cares what a stranger says. Anyway, I hope you will agree.