Dead Presidents

George W. Bush, distraught over his worsening approval rating, was jogging through Washington in search of inspiration. Taking a break upon reaching the Washington Monument, he looks up for guidance and says, “George, you were one of our greatest Presidents, what should I do?”

Suddenly, a voice is heard from above. George Washington says to George W, “Abolish the I.R.S. and start over.”

George W, amazed that he’s actually talking to a past President, continues his job and this time stops at the Jefferson Memorial. Uttering a similar question to Thomas Jefferson, America’s author of the Declaration of Independence and one of its great early philosophers, he asks “Thomas, you’ve never had these kinds of problems. What can I do to rally people behind me?” Again a voice from above answers, “Welfare is not working, abolish it and start over.”

Upon hearing such great advice, George gets excited and plans on going to all the historical sites for guidance. Next stop is the Lincoln Memorial to see President Abraham Lincoln, who met his untimely death after winning the Civil War and keeping the country unified. “Abe, I need your help, people are losing confidence in me and they no longer trust me. What should I do?” After a substantial pause Abe replies, “Take the day off George. Go the the theatre.”


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