Dating vs Marriage

When you’re dating… Farting is never an issue.
When you’re married… You make sure there’s nothing flammable near your husband at all times.

When you’re dating… He takes you out to have a good time.
When you’re married… He brings home a 6 pack, and says “What are you going to drink?”

When you’re dating… He holds your hand in public.
When you’re married… He flicks your ear in public.

When you’re dating… A Single bed for two isn’t that bad.
When you’re married… A King size bed feels like an army cot.

When you’re dating… You are turned on at the sight of him naked.
When you’re married… You think to yourself “Was he always this hairy?”

When you’re dating… You enjoyed foreplay.
When you’re married… You tell him “If we have sex, will you leave me alone?”

When you’re dating… He hugs you, when he walks by you for no reason.
When you’re married… He grabs your boob any chance he gets.

When you’re dating… You picture the two of you together, growing old together.
When you’re married… You wonder who will die first.

When you’re dating… Just looking at him makes you feel all “mushy.”
When you’re married… When you look at him, you want to claw his eyes out.

When you’re dating… He knows what the “hamper” is.
When you’re married… The floor will suffice as a dirty clothes storage area.

When you’re dating… He understands if you “Aren’t in the mood.”
When you’re married… He says “It’s your job.”

When you’re dating… He understands that you have “male” friends.
When you’re married… He thinks they are all out to steal you away.

When you’re dating… He likes to “discuss” things.
When you’re married… He develops a “blank” stare.

When you’re dating… He calls you by name.
When you’re married… He calls you “Hey” and refers to you when speaking to others as “She.”

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