Church Bulletin Bloopers

The following are actual church bulletin board bloopers that were posted. Goes well with the funny church signs we posted earlier. Those were on purpose, were these?

  • For those of you who have children and don’t know it, we have a nursery downstairs.
  • Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles, and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.
  • The outreach committee has enlisted 25 visitors to make calls on people who are not afflicted with any church.
  • The Rev. Merriwether spoke briefly, much to the delight of the audience.
  • Low Self-Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 to 8:30 p.m. Please use the back door.
  • The third verse of Blessed Assurance will be sung without musical accomplishment.
  • The pastor will preach his farewell message, after which the choir will sing, “Break Forth Into Joy.”
  • Twenty-two members were present at the church meeting held at the home of Mrs. Marsha Crutchfield last evening. Mrs. Crutchfield and Mrs. Rankin sang a duet, The Lord Knows Why.
  • During the absence of our pastor, we enjoyed the rare privilege of hearing a good sermon when J.F. Stubbs supplied our pulpit.
  • The music for today’s service was all composed by George Friedrich Handel in celebration of the 300th anniversary of his birth.
  • Pastor is on vacation. Massages can be given to church secretary.
  • Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and community.
  • The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare’s Hamlet in the church basement on Friday at 7 p.m. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.
  • The concert held in Fellowship Hall was a great success. Special thanks are due to the minister’s daughter, who labored the whole evening at the piano, which as usual fell upon her.
  • A song fest was hell at the Methodist church Wednesday.
  • Don’t let worry kill you off – let the church help.

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