Chuck Norris Facts
In case you didn’t know much about Chuck Norris, this is (for the most part) all you need to know. Of all the people on this world you could tick off, Mr. Norris shouldn’t be one of ‘em… These are some of the most popular Chuck Norris jokes on the net…
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scientists suggested jesus really was black, then chuck norris roundhouse kicked him white.
chuck Norris is the last mohican.
Chuck Norris done a barrel roll in a boat
@klump. scientists suggested jesus really was black, then chuck norris roundhouse kicked him white. This also happened to Micheal Jackson
Chuck Norris and Jack Bauer went camping. While Jack was putting up his tent he said to Chuck ” So you’re supposed to be hard then? I killed 96 men in just 5 days.”
Chuck just ignored Jack and carried on poking the fire with his penis.
the reason why eheres no life on mars is because Chuck Norris has been there
Cloning is illegal in America because then chuck and is clone can kick each other at the same time.
scientists call this Armageddon.
when Chuck Norris does a push up he doesnt push himself up he pushes the earth down.
Chuck Norris got more ass than Genghis Khan.
when chuck norris sweat, out come an fluid powerfull enough to run your car a 100 times around the earth.
normal people call it sweat.. USA call it nukes
You guys are the smartest people on earth
DRAGONS still exist.They are just waiting for Chuck Norris so they can attack AGAIN!!
DRAGONS still exist.They are just waiting for Chuck Norris so they can attack AGAIN!!!
DRAGONS still exist.They are just waiting for Chuck Norris to die so they can attack AGAIN!!!
DRAGONS still exist.They are just waiting for Chuck Norris to die so they can attack AGAIN!!!!
Chuck Norris has already been to MARS.Thats why there are no signs of life there.
Chuck Norris has already been to MARS.Thats why there are no signs of life there..
Chuck Norris doesnt breath air.he holds air hostage.lol
chuck norris 1se had sex with a trucker and his spleen went into truck and truck is now optamis prime
the h-bomb is really chuck norris farting
Chuck Norris doesn’t need a Twitter, he’s already following you.
Chuck Norris can, period
There is no such thing as global warming chuck norris was cold so he turned the sun up
When Chuck Norris pours milk onto his Rice Crispies, they dont go Snap,Crackle,Pop, they shut the hell up.
chuck norris’s tears could cure cancer. to bad chuck norris doesnt cry.
chuck Norris played golf on an 18 hole course last week
he got a score of 14 for 18 holes
2 off his personal best
ate an indian
chuck norris is 1/8th cherokee. This has nothing to do with heritage, he ate an indian.
Chuck Norris has only cried once … when he stared at himself in the mirror.
Chuck Norris once lost both legs in a car accident and he still managed to walk it off.
Chuck Norris was bit by a rattlesnake, and after five days of excruciating pain, the rattlesnake died.
The only way to tell Chuck Norris’s true age is to cut him in half and count the rings.
Some people like to eat frogs’ legs. Chuck Norris likes to eat lizard legs. Hence, snakes.
when the doctors asked the mother what to name his new born son… chuck norris said…”i will be called chuck norris!” and round house kicked the doctor for not adressing him first!
Criss Angel can walk on water. Chuck Norris can make water cry.
i like cheese >:-D
chuck norris and michael jackson had a dance off! the loser had to change colors!
chuck norris learned to pogo stick about 2 months ago! the recovery effort in Haiti continues!
(hahahaha that was only a JOKE i don’t really mean that because that is wrong!)
The ancient chinese wepon consisting of 2 peices of wood bound by a chain were once called the Nun-Tylers…Since Chuck Norris was born no one has seen tyler since. Sad but true =/
chuck norris went to the virgin islands when he left it was just the islands
bruce lee n chuck norris neva faught it was their stunt doubles cuz everyone knows if they did fight it will cause the end of the world
people say war is hell. they obviously havn’t met Chuck Norris.
The USA never dropped the atom bomb on Japan. They just parachuted Chuck Norris over Hiroshima and Nagasaki.
Chuck Norris invented chutney music ( a kind of North Indian music). He did this singing Hei Ganga Maiya while chopping tomatoes.
i love ham with mushrooms, chuck norris cried when he licked my ****
There is no theory of evolution. Only a list of cratures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.
chuch norris mi idolo es un gran actor y campeon de las artes marciales siempre lo tendre presente es un grande de verdad maestro siempre miro la serie walcker ranger de texas nunca me la pierdo
chuck norris once took a whole bottle of sleeping pills they made him blink
When Chuck Norris wants a marshmellow he doesn’t put it over the fire. He stares at it until it goes golden brown.
Hans and Frans made the mistake of calling Chuck Norris a girly man. Have you seen Hans and Frans lately?
boo
little kids piss thier names in snow, chuck norris pissed his name in concrete
Every time you breathe, Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks a kitten into outer space.