Chuck Norris Facts
In case you didn’t know much about Chuck Norris, this is (for the most part) all you need to know. Of all the people on this world you could tick off, Mr. Norris shouldn’t be one of ‘em… These are some of the most popular Chuck Norris jokes on the net…
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it has been said that a single tear of Chuck Norris can cure all types of cancer…however chuck is not able to produce such emotion
chuck norris is not hung like a horse… horses are hung like chuck norris!
Chuck Norris found the womens fourth hole before Qaugmire.
Chuck Norris secretly sleeps with every woman in the world once a month, therefore they bleed for a week.
Chuck Norris will take your virginity, don’t even fight it.
When Chuck Norris has five dollars and you have five dollars Chuck Norris has more money than you
Jupiters Big Red Spot is really a bruise from A Chuck Norris Roundhouse kick.
If Chuck Norris ran around Saturns rings you would hear the theme tune from Walker Texas Ranger.
Chuck Norris has 3 fists and I am not talking about under his beard
Chuck Norris can out run his shadow.
Chuck Norris he looks at water and it freezes…
Chuk Norris can put out a blaze with spit..
Chuck norris can drink a river..
Chuck norris made a guy cry so hard that he collapsed from dehydration.
Chuck norris picks his teeth with javelins.
Chuck Norris roasts his marshmellows on the sun..
Chuck norris lost his virginity when he waz a baby…
he put his whole body in a woman then came out 9months later.
chuck norris went on vacation to the VIRGIN islands, they are now called the islands.
When God created the earth, he modeled man after himself.
When God created Chuck Norris, he modeled him after an Iron Man on sterioids.
When chuck norris saw your posts he said “lame”
Chuck Norris once stood face to face with God … Turns out he was just looking in the mirior
chuck norris will never die because death is scared of him.
jesus could walk on water, but chuck norris could walk on jesus
Chuck Norris doesn’t masterbate. He rapes his hand!
People invented the automobile to outrun Chuck Norris. In return, Chuck Norris invented the automobile accident.
Chuck Norris is the best thing since sliced bread.
When God said “Let there be light” Chuck Norris told him to say Please.
When Chuck Norris was having sex in a truck, one his sperm escaped into the engine. We now this Truck as Optimus Prime
Chuck Norris wipes his but with Steel wool or sandpaper
In case of Alien Invasion,Chuck Norris Is our plan of defense
Chuck Norris CAN see John Cena!!
Jesus may walk on water but Chuck Norris can swim through land.
here’s a joke
there once was a comparason that a pholosipher said, as he put butter on his toast…
like a hot knife though butter / like Chuck Norris Through Steel
Chuck Norris was so great, the vikings made a series of gods dedicated to him, the Norris Gods
chuck norris ran for senate. senate couldnt outrun him and he killed them all.
chuck norris lives in a round house.
chuck norris was bitten by a cobra. after five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died.
Chuck Norris can pound coal into diamond.
The dinosaurs were killed 65 million years ago by Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris can type with his eyelashes
Chuck Norris plays a doube necked guitar with one hand
If Hollywood made a biopic on Chuck Norris, it would have 4 sequels
The dinosaurs once looked down on Chuck Norris. Only ONCE…
a man once looked at Chuck Norris…once
Chuck Norris…thats all that can be said…
Chuck Norris sunk Atlantis because they served him bad fish sticks
Chuck Norris power level is over 900’000
Chuck Norris once took a holiday in Bhopal India. After having a bad curry he let off a very smelly fart. Enough said.
chuck norris enslaves white people
When chuck norris does push ups he doesn’t push him self up he pushes the ground down
When chuck norris does push ups he doesn’t push him self up he pushes the ground down. When the boogy
The boogyu
Chuck Norris reads braille
chuck Norris provoked the voultori and lived
Chuck Norris is illegal on all 50 states
who would win in a fight??? CHUCK NORRIS OR GOD?? trick question, Chuck Norris is GOD
seriously dat wasnt funny at all
Chuck Norris once rode a bull. 9 months later it had a baby.
Chuck Norris can speak braille.
Chuck Norris once received a 500. Caliber bullet to the head at point blank range. It made him feel an eensy bit sleepy
Chuck Norris is a one man quintet
Chuck Norris played a 125 song setlist on a six-headed guitar with his eyebrows
Only Chuck Norris can have a third testicle and be taken seriously
Chuck Norris smoked a rocket launcher
Chuck Norris once beat halos’ 1, 2, and 3, with a broken guitar hero controller
Every piece of furniture in Chuck Norris’ house is a total gym