Chuck Norris Facts
In case you didn’t know much about Chuck Norris, this is (for the most part) all you need to know. Of all the people on this world you could tick off, Mr. Norris shouldn’t be one of ‘em… These are some of the most popular Chuck Norris jokes on the net…
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Once a blind man stepped on Chuck Norris’ toe. The Chuck Said “DONT YOU KNOW WHO I AM? I AM CHUCK NORRIS!” Instantly just the mention of his name cured the man of his blindness…sadly the last thing he ever saw was a foot heading right to his face.
Chuck norris once shot down a german plane is WW2 just by pointing at it and saying bang. Chuck Norris has another fist in his beard X.x O_o
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If you can see chuck norris that means he can see you. If you cant see chuck norris your moments away from dieing
they are sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooofunny!
Chuck Norris got a perfect SAT score by writing “Chuck Norris” for every answer.
“Demons don’t possess chuck norris, chuck norris posesses demons”
chuck norris is so fast he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head
Little known medical fact: Chuck Norris invented the Caesarean section when he roundhouse-kicked his way out of his monther’s womb.
chuck norris can hear silence
chuck norris can get xbox live on his ps2
chuck norris doesnt consider it sex if the girl’s not dead
Chuck Norris can make the ultimate meal for the whole world with a some water and bread crumbs
Chuck Norris gets something for nothing
When Chuck Norris plays Wii Sports he instantly goes to Super Pro rank
Chuck Norris is the only person to roundhouse kick you in the back of your face.
Chuck norris doesn’t pay bills, he just roundhouse kicks the morgage off.
Chuck Norris one slapped the black off a Mexican.
Chuck norris once slaped the black off a Mexican.
Chuck Norris has lunch in the morning
chuck norris dose not have any cars because all he has to do is imagine were he has to go to get there.
Chuck Norris once kicked someone so hard, his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over the Atlantic Ocean.
Chuck Norris can watch some of the worst movies in history with a straight face
Once a snake bit Chuck Norris. After 2 weeks of unbearable pain the snake died.
Chuck Norris hit a bullseye with a single dart, blindfolded on the toilet while drugged
Chuck Norris can catch bullets….with his eyelids
Chuck Norris played and completed the entire story mode and side missions in Dead Rising in one hour
Chuck Norris sleeps under the boogeyman’s bed.
sum1 said that – A disabled parking sign does not signify that this spot is 4 disabled people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there. But chuck norris doesnt disable he kills…..people who see his roundhouse kick from a 100km distance are handicapped from its sheer force.
Chuck norris played russian roulett with a fully loaded gun and won
chuck norris is the man
albert einstian was once stupid till he ticked off chuck norris
if you interrupt chuck norris run
on my football team the motto is pain is just weakness leaving body and mind this is wrong chuck norris’s foot is wat usually is leaving ur body and mind
When Chuck Norris hunts he just grabs his hat & the deer skin & 1/4 themselves into his frezer that they bought 4 him
Chuck Noris could strangle you with a cordless phone!
when chuck norris passes gas, small countries experiance hurricanes.
Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked a guy so hard the impact was heard round the world, today we know this as the big bang theory.
Chuck Norris is billingual (including Klingon)
brownouts are not caused by the shortage of electricirty, etc. They are signs that, for once, Chuck Norris is ACTUALLY happy.
Chuck Norris is not left or right handed. He is BOTH handed.
Chuck Norris can sneeze with his eyes open.
Chuck Norris’ farts are so powerful that the last one created a hurricane. Currently known a Katrina.
Sometimes, when people see somebody they find attractive, they will mentally undress them. When Chuck Norris sees anybody, he kills them.
The best song ever written is a symphony by Chuck Norris. Unfortunately, listening to the song causes any mortal human’s brain to melt from all the awesome.
When Chuck Norris runs he is not moving, in reallity he is spinning the earth and that is the undeniable thruth!
The sun needs sunglasses to look at Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris counted to infinity twice….both negative and positive..
Chuck Norris doesn’t own a watch. He decides what time it is!
Some one once asked Chuck Norris what time it was…. That was a mistake! Chuck smiled and said “Sure I’ll tell you what time it is!” and Round house kicked him n killed him. “Time to die” said Chuck. So the man died.