Chuck Norris Facts
In case you didn’t know much about Chuck Norris, this is (for the most part) all you need to know. Of all the people on this world you could tick off, Mr. Norris shouldn’t be one of ‘em… These are some of the most popular Chuck Norris jokes on the net…
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If all the pokemons would evolve to level 999 and then merge, that would give a Chuck Norris fingernail, and only the one on his pinky, wich by the way is called a blacky for Chuck.
E=Chuck Norris
Wind is actually caused by Chuck Norris’ movements.
chuck norris once got refused a mcgriddle from mcdonalds because it was 10:35, he then roundhouse kicked the store SO hard, it became a wendy’s.
Chuck Norris had the brilliant idea of selling his pee. The next day Red Bull was created.
chuck norris can kill two stones with one bird
earth quaks are coused when chuck norris walk
Chuck Norris is so tough, when the Boogieman goes to bed, he checks the closet for Chuck Norris.
Wayne Gretzky once said you miss 100% of the shots you never take. Chuck Norris makes 80% of those.
Courage is not the absense of fear. It’s the absense of Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris ordered the code red.
Chuck Norris’ schlong is so huge, it has it’s own schlong. And even his schlong’s scholng is bigger than your schlong.
Jesus can walk on water, but Chuck Norris can swim through land.
The orignal version of Alien vs Predator was called Alien vs Predator vs Chuck Norris. The movie had some slight ajustments when they realized no one would watch a movie that lasted only 14 seconds
The everglades were formed when part of Florida annoyed Chuck Norris and was stamped below sea level.
To date, Chuck Norris is dead, but the Grim Reaper is too afraid to tell him.
When Chuck Norris is killing time, Its just for the joy of killing
when Chuck Norris gets a tattoo, he gets it embroidered.
Chuck Norris image has never been captured on film. You can’t capture Chuck Norris
There is no chin under Chuck Norris’ beard. There is only another fist.
Chuck Norris can relive the good old days by thinking of them
Chuck Norris can worship all Gods at once
Fear itself is afraid of Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris is capable of walking to the moon
All humans can grow wisdom teeth. Chuck Norris grows wisdom teeth, hairs and skin
Chuck Norris invented a new title for himself. Multi-perfectionist
Chuck Norris drank an entire keg of cyanide and asked for more
Chuck Norris makes the impossible possible
Whenever Chuck Norris holds a gun it magically earns the power of infinite ammo
Chuck Norris solved a Rubiks Cube in 3 seconds with his big toes
Chuck Norris won a staring contest with Medusa
Chuck Norris doesn’t stop for Hammertime
Chuck Norris does not worship God, God worship Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris can dribble a football.
Chuck Norris can strike out 3 batters in 3 pitches.
Evil Kenevil jumps over cars. Chuck Norris just roundhouse kicks them out his way.
people say when you think about the game you lose tyhe game. when chuck norris thinks about the game, the game forfeits
milk does’nt dare get on chuck norris’ moustache
Chuck Norris can put baby in a corner.
Duran Duran is hungry like the wolf. Chuck Norris is hungry like a t-rex
chuck norises sweat made niagra falls
chuck noris went threw the burmuda triangle 5 times
My Fav:
Mars has no life. That’s because Chuck Norris has already been there!
Chuck Norris dosen’t go to the toilet, toilet goes to Chuck Norris
ahah chuck noris
And God said, “Let the hands be quick and the feet thriving with power, and let man fly above the earth across the expanse of the sky into his opponent.” So God created the great martial artists of the earth and every living and moving thing feared their power according to its kind. And God saw that it was good. God blessed them and said, “Be skillful and only defensive, make forms and skills ever increasing in number and fill the minds of your opponents with fear, and let the hand chopped boards increase in number on the earth.” And there in the evening arose Chuck Norris and God said Holy $#it. (Genesis 2:28-35)
A blind man once stepped on Chuck Norris’ shoe. Chuck replied, “Don’t you know who I am? I’m Chuck Norris!” The mere mention of his name cured this man blindness. Sadly the first, last, and only thing this man ever saw, was a fatal roundhouse delivered by Chuck Norris
Every time chuck norris smiles a dieng man lives=)
but the irony…
chuck norris only smiles when he kills a man
kids can pee ther name in snow chuck norris can pee is name in concret
Man, I love these things!
Chuck Norris invented the hamburger by throwing a cow that pissed him off at a chainlink fence.