Chuck Norris Facts
In case you didn’t know much about Chuck Norris, this is (for the most part) all you need to know. Of all the people on this world you could tick off, Mr. Norris shouldn’t be one of ‘em… These are some of the most popular Chuck Norris jokes on the net…
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Hi my names Jeffy i like apples, can i have a hug?
i love to shag my dad
hi my names lance and i like nuts
hahahahahahah funny stuff…
i got another one…
chuck norris has been officially dead for three years but death is too afraid to tell him…
I once went on a mission trip to Kansas on a mission trip to help rebuild a community hit by a tornado. I asked the lady “so how bad was the tornado?” and she said “it wasn’t a tornado Chuck Norris just hates trailor parks!”
when your in a hallway all by yourself and you slam a locker, chuck norris hears it
I was once told bout a dog that was trained to kill at sight, But that nothing compared to CHUCK, he can kill with his sight….
chuck norris doesn’t read the book is so scared it gives him the information
if you go to google web search, type in search for chuck norris and then click on i’m feeling lucky. it is really funny
chuck norris doesnt sleep he waits
chuck norris doesnt go hunting bc of the possiblity of fauliare he goes killing
When the boogeyman goes to sleep he checks his closet for chuck norris.
Chuck norris doesn’t need a watch, he decides what time it is.
Chuck norris can make a snowman in summer with water.
Chuck norris can do a wheelie with a unicycle.
Chuck norris doesn’t consider it sex unless the girl doesn’t die
In world war II Chuck norris had his left nut cut off by the Japanese, we now know it as Juipitar.
In the back of the guiness world records in very small print it says “all records were really set by Chuck Norris and this is a list of people that came close to him.”
Christ can walk on water, Chuck norris can swim on land.
Whoever told you that the plane on 9/11 didn’t hit the pentagon because of its passengers was wrong, really Chuck Norris got on the COM a threatened to roundhouse kick iraq.
Chuck Norris can delete the recycle bin .
scientist haven’t found life on mars. thats because Chuck Norris has already been there.
there is no theory of evelution, just a list of creatures chuck norris allows to live.
Chuck norris walked around the world on 80 miliseconds.
chuck norris caused the big bang.
if u want a list of chuck norris’ enimys just check the extinced spieces list!
if u see chuck norris, he can see u, if u can’t see chuck norris u may be only moments from death.
chuck norris once had a heart attack, his heart lost.
chuck norris slamed a revolving door.
chuck norris can unscramble a scrabled egg. now thats tallent!
i had a near death experiance,death once had a near chuck norris eperiance.
chuck noris doesnt wear a watch, because he decides what time it is!
chuck norris can slam a revolving door
chuck norris speaks in capital letters chuck norris can pull out your endocrine system
chuck norris can pull out your endocrine system
Chuck Norris doesn’t mow his lawn, instead he dares the grass to grow.
chuck norris went to mcdonalds went to mcdonalds and asked for a whopper and got one.
chuck norris can take 11 oranges from a basket full of apples
there was once a chuck norris toilet paper too bad it wouldnt take shit from anybody
Chuck NOrris doesn’t sleep. He waits.
There are no WOMD’s in Iran. Chuck NOrris lives in oklahoma
chuck norris can kill two stones with one bird
Chuck Norris has a nightlight but isn’t afraid of the dark. The dark is afraid of him.
Chuck Norris did elmo and made him famous. And guess where they did at.
chuck norris looked at a panther and it turned pink guess who that is
If Chuck Norris made a porno. Nobody wont dare to look cause they will get a full roundhouse kick to the face.
i farted
Hey Lance, Chuck Norris doesnt like gay people. Roundhouse kick them in the face and made them straight.
This website sucks. i will find chuck norris and kill him and his mom
F yo couch
When Madusa looks into Chuck Norris’s eye’s, she turns to stone.
When the Hulk gets angry, its turns into a Chuck Norris.
chuck norris had sex b4 his dad
chuck norris farted and nagasaki and hiroshima blew up
Chuck Norris can sneeze without blinking.
Apple pays Chuck Norris 99 cents every time he listens to a song.
If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars Chuck Norris has more money than you.
There is no crtl button on Chuck Norris’s computer Chuck Norris is always in control.
Chuck Norris can tie his shoes with his feet
Chuck Norris destroyed the theory of the periodic table, as he only recognises the element of surprise.
Chuck Norris bowled a 300 with a Kiwi
Chuck Norris = Mc 2
Chuck norris is always watching us.
Chuck Norris jokes became old a long time ago
Galatus moves from planet to planet because he’s ri=unnig away form Chuck Norris
chuck norris can run around the earth once and punch himself in the back of his head
Chuck Norris can swim up a waterfall
Kids have Superman pajamas but Superman has Chuck Norris pajamas
Chuck Norris doesn´t belive in God, God believes in Chuck Norris
jeffy,
give up on apples.
dont get hugs. chuck norris doesnt like apples.
or hugs
Chuck Norris gets home runs in baseball, but he doesn’t swing. The ball flew away in fear.
Chuck Norris looked in a mirror. The reflection ran away.
Chuck Norris does not count his chickens before they hatch. He counts how many egg shells he has roundhouse kicked.
Chuck Norris doesn’t run. The world moves for him.
Like..two of these are good.
Chuck Norris doesnt sleep, because…… Roundhouse kick
The Big Bang is theoretically a result of God recieving a roundhouse kick from Cuck Norris. That’s why scientists are afraid of cloning him. Imagine 2 Chuck Norrises roundhouse kicking each other…