Chuck Norris Facts
In case you didn’t know much about Chuck Norris, this is (for the most part) all you need to know. Of all the people on this world you could tick off, Mr. Norris shouldn’t be one of ‘em… These are some of the most popular Chuck Norris jokes on the net…
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“chuck norris is so gay!” as billy opens up a can of whoop-ass on his friend!
chuck norris is sooo not gay he will open a can of whoop-ass on barney and the telytubies
my friend jacob is upset but chuck norris wont help cause he is trained to kill at first sight not fall in love and help
chuck norris doesnt mow his lawn he simply stares at the grass and dares it to grow.
HEY!!!! Only Chuck Norris laughs at Chuck Norris ……………Deadman.
When Chuck Norris farts, it sounds like a conference hall!
Chuck norris got a degree in art when he studied science!
Chuck Norris can’t get to sleep because it always runs
away when it sees him!
Chuck Norris plays golf with a ping pong balls!
Everybody!Let’s look into the camera, make a peace sign with both your hands and feet and shout “CHUCK NORRIS!”
Chuck Norris pees on the lamp post and it DIED!
do you know how curiousity killed the cat?….. chuck norris found out and killed curiousity
most men can piss there name in snow,chuck norris can piss his name in concrete.
most men can pee there name in snow, chuck norris can pee his name in concrete.
my bad i thought it said piss was a bad word
Chuck norris tears can cure cancer to bad he never crys
Who would win in a fight chuck or god trick question chuck is a god
Chuck Norris IS What Willis was talkin’ ’bout!!!
If you Google search “Chuck Norris getting his ass kicked” you will generate zero results. It just doesn’t happen. << Its a lie!!
most men can pee there name in snow, chuck norris can pee his name in concrete.
Stones and dinosaures lived until chuck norris decided to have a “clean up”
Chuck norris killed 2 stone with 1 bird.
Chuck norris didnt come to earth, earth came to him
God prays to chuck norris.
When i dont hand in my homework, my teacher thinks its ok because chuck norris ate it. P.s. My homework was a pet rock collection .
when chuck Norris crosses the street the cars look both ways
Chuck Norris doesn’t drink fruit punch, he PUNCHES fruit!!
New joke: “Rule Chuck Norris, Chuck Norris rule the world!!!”
to the tune of “Rule Brittalia”
the did not drop the atom bomb on hiroshima. they dropped chuch norris
when chuck norris jumps in water chuck norris doesnt get wet! the water gets chuck norris
I made few
when chuck norris needs a pneumatic drill when rebuilding his house, he uses his penis instead
When chuck norris accidentaly farted on a morning walk in ukraine, media lied that chernobyl exploded.
kevlar vest designers were inspired by chuck norisses skin, the result wasnt even bit close altough
every night the boogeyman checks his closet for chuck norris
Chuck Norris doesn’t cry, water condenses on his face at the appropriate times.
Chuck Norris is as the Jedi should have been.
chuck norris built rome in a day
The premises all conclude that Chuck Norris is a fully-evolved Yeti.
Sticks and stones may break your bones, but a glare from Chuck Norris will liquify your kidneys.
A judge once ordered chuck norris to go to court and upon arrival the judge immediately found himself guilty for ordering a powerful being to court
Chuck Norris once had sex on a tractor, some of his sperm had gotten in the exhaust pipe of the tractor, that tractor is now known as Optimus Prime.
chuck norris doesnt sleep… he waits.
once chuck norris went to the virgin islands… when he came back they were just “the islands”
oxegan requires chuck norris to live. chuck norris doesnt get wet, wet gets chuck norris. chuck norris counted to infinity 2.
there is no anti-mater chuck norris, there can be only one
fat ben made poop
chuck norris made corn pop by staring at a cob of corn . we now know this invention as CORN POPS . the sugar comes from when he urinates on them (or dumps red bull on them , because his urine is known as red bull.)
SHUT UP! My name is booby and I GAVE CHUCK NORRIS A BB GUN . If you question us he will turn on YOU! YES! YOU!
if you google search ‘chuck norris’ it will write “you can’t find chuck norris cause chuck norris will find you first”
Chuck Norris can ride a wheelie on a unicycle.
chuck norris can slam revolving doors.
Rules of Fighting
1. Don’t bring a knife to a gunfight.
2. Don’t bring a gun or a knife to a Chuck Norris fight!
3. Don’t fight Chuck Norris!!
Chuck Norris found Waldo.
R.I.P. Waldo.
who would win in a fight Jackie chan Or Jet Li?????…………………
…………………………..
Chuck Norris
When Master Chief (Halo) takes off his mask it’s Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris beat Kobayashi Maru…without reprogramming it.
When Chuck Norris Eats:
Aliens whisper, 10000 planets down, 10000 to go.
2. When chuck norris whispers, everyone hears :O
when michael jordan wanted to dunk on chuck norris, he was dunked
how do we end the war in iraq? send chuck norris there
A long time ago chuck norris’ girlfriend broke up with him… ’till this day they have not found her, some say he roundhouse kicked her in her face and sent her flying into space and will keep going on for eternity