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	<title>Funny and Jokes &#187; Stupid Jokes</title>
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		<title>My Horse Tastes Just Like Raisins</title>
		<link>http://www.funnyandjokes.com/my-horse-tastes-just-like-raisins.html</link>
		<comments>http://www.funnyandjokes.com/my-horse-tastes-just-like-raisins.html#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 05 Jan 2010 16:07:38 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>F&#38;J Staff</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Jokes]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Stupid Jokes]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.funnyandjokes.com/?p=1819</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Yahoo! Answers is always full of interesting, sometimes rediculous questions that are just begging to get laughed at. This morning I came across one that did just that, some guy wondering why his horse tastes like raisins. Our advice, never lick a gift horse in the mouth.

This has us wondering, are there any real questions [...]


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<li><a href='http://www.funnyandjokes.com/what-guys-really-mean.html' rel='bookmark' title='Permanent Link: What Guys Really Mean'>What Guys Really Mean</a> <small>When you catch a guy glancing at you, he's actually wondering...</small></li>
<li><a href='http://www.funnyandjokes.com/travelling-ventriloquist-on-a-farm.html' rel='bookmark' title='Permanent Link: Travelling Ventriloquist On A Farm'>Travelling Ventriloquist On A Farm</a> <small>A travelling ventriloquist on the road in between jobs decided...</small></li>
</ol>]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Yahoo! Answers is always full of interesting, sometimes rediculous questions that are just begging to get laughed at. This morning I came across one that did just that, some guy wondering <a href="http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20100101141347AAB2jBg" target="_blank">why his horse tastes like raisins</a>. Our advice, never lick a gift horse in the mouth.</p>
<p><img class="alignnone size-full wp-image-1820" title="Yahoo Answers Horse Tastes Like Raisins" src="http://www.funnyandjokes.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/01/yahoo-answers-horse-raisins.png" alt="" width="450" height="136" /></p>
<p>This has us wondering, are there any <em>real</em> questions on Y! Answers anymore?</p>
<p>This joke provided courtesy of <a href="http://www.funnyandjokes.com/">FunnyandJokes.com</a>, all rights reserved.</p>

<p>Similar Funny Jokes You Might Like:<ol><li><a href='http://www.funnyandjokes.com/hung-like-a-horse.html' rel='bookmark' title='Permanent Link: Hung Like A Horse (Moral)'>Hung Like A Horse (Moral)</a> <small>There was a chicken and a horse playing together on...</small></li>
<li><a href='http://www.funnyandjokes.com/what-guys-really-mean.html' rel='bookmark' title='Permanent Link: What Guys Really Mean'>What Guys Really Mean</a> <small>When you catch a guy glancing at you, he's actually wondering...</small></li>
<li><a href='http://www.funnyandjokes.com/travelling-ventriloquist-on-a-farm.html' rel='bookmark' title='Permanent Link: Travelling Ventriloquist On A Farm'>Travelling Ventriloquist On A Farm</a> <small>A travelling ventriloquist on the road in between jobs decided...</small></li>
</ol></p>]]></content:encoded>
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		<slash:comments>7</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>T-G-I-F vs. S-H-I-T</title>
		<link>http://www.funnyandjokes.com/t-g-i-f-vs-s-h-i-t.html</link>
		<comments>http://www.funnyandjokes.com/t-g-i-f-vs-s-h-i-t.html#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 09 Jun 2009 14:12:20 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>amrita</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Jokes]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Stupid Jokes]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.funnyandjokes.com/?p=1634</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[A business man got on an elevator. When he entered, there was a blonde already inside who greeted him with a bright, "T-G-I-F."
He smiled at her and replied, "S-H-I-T."
She looked puzzled and repeated, "T-G-I-F," more slowly.
He again answered, "S-H-I-T."
The blonde was trying to keep it friendly, so she smiled her biggest smile, and said as [...]


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<li><a href='http://www.funnyandjokes.com/what-men-really-mean.html' rel='bookmark' title='Permanent Link: What Men Really Mean'>What Men Really Mean</a> <small>"It's a guy thing." Really means...."There is no rational thought...</small></li>
<li><a href='http://www.funnyandjokes.com/bar-of-blondes.html' rel='bookmark' title='Permanent Link: Bar of Blondes'>Bar of Blondes</a> <small>A blind guy on a bar stool shouts to the...</small></li>
</ol>]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>A business man got on an elevator. When he entered, there was a blonde already inside who greeted him with a bright, "T-G-I-F."</p>
<p>He smiled at her and replied, "S-H-I-T."</p>
<p>She looked puzzled and repeated, "T-G-I-F," more slowly.</p>
<p>He again answered, "S-H-I-T."</p>
<p>The blonde was trying to keep it friendly, so she smiled her biggest smile, and said as sweetly as possibly, "T-G-I-F."</p>
<p>The man smiled back to her and once again, "S-H-I-T."</p>
<p>The exasperated blonde finally decided to explain.</p>
<p>'T-G-I-F' means 'Thank Goodness It's Friday.' Get it, duuhhh?"</p>
<p>The man answered, "'S-H-I-T' means 'Sorry, Honey, It's Thursday.'"</p>
<p>This joke provided courtesy of <a href="http://www.funnyandjokes.com/">FunnyandJokes.com</a>, all rights reserved.</p>

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<li><a href='http://www.funnyandjokes.com/what-men-really-mean.html' rel='bookmark' title='Permanent Link: What Men Really Mean'>What Men Really Mean</a> <small>"It's a guy thing." Really means...."There is no rational thought...</small></li>
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</ol></p>]]></content:encoded>
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		<slash:comments>15</slash:comments>
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		<item>
		<title>A Smart Business Plan</title>
		<link>http://www.funnyandjokes.com/a-smart-business-plan.html</link>
		<comments>http://www.funnyandjokes.com/a-smart-business-plan.html#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 12 Mar 2009 14:09:51 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>F&#38;J Staff</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Jokes]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Stupid Jokes]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.funnyandjokes.com/?p=1537</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[A new shift manager was being shown around the Latex factor where he was just hired. The plant manufactures various latex products, and has a reputation for using cutting edge technology in their manufacturing process.
On one side of the building, the factory makes baby bottle nipples. The machine makes a loud "hiss-pop" noise, and the [...]


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<li><a href='http://www.funnyandjokes.com/smart-redneck.html' rel='bookmark' title='Permanent Link: Smart Redneck'>Smart Redneck</a> <small>"Hello, is this the FBI?" "Yes. What do you want?"...</small></li>
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</ol>]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>A new shift manager was being shown around the Latex factor where he was just hired. The plant manufactures various latex products, and has a reputation for using cutting edge technology in their manufacturing process.</p>
<p>On one side of the building, the factory makes baby bottle nipples. The machine makes a loud "hiss-pop" noise, and the shift manager asks his tour guide what it's doing. "As the rubber is being injected into the mold, it makes a hiss noise." he says "The popping sound is from needle poking a hole in the end of the nipple."</p>
<p><img class="alignright size-full wp-image-1538" title="Baby Bottle Nipple" src="http://www.funnyandjokes.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/03/baby-bottle-nipple.jpg" alt="Baby Bottle Nipple" width="150" height="150" />On the other side of the building, the two men look at the condom making machine. This machine makes a "hiss.. hiss... hiss-pop" sound during the manufacturing process. "Wait a second," the future shift manager says, "I know what the hiss, hiss is... but what's with the 'pop' noise every once in a while?"</p>
<p>"Oh, that hehe. It's the same as the baby bottle nipple process." says the guide... "It pokes a hole in every third condom."</p>
<p>"But that can't be good for the condoms!" the observant shift manager replied.</p>
<p>"Nah, but it's <em>really</em> good for the baby bottle nipple business!"</p>
<p>This joke provided courtesy of <a href="http://www.funnyandjokes.com/">FunnyandJokes.com</a>, all rights reserved.</p>

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</ol></p>]]></content:encoded>
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		<slash:comments>13</slash:comments>
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		<item>
		<title>Life&#8217;s Tough When You&#8217;re Stupid</title>
		<link>http://www.funnyandjokes.com/lifes-tough-when-youre-stupid.html</link>
		<comments>http://www.funnyandjokes.com/lifes-tough-when-youre-stupid.html#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 11 Mar 2009 20:53:49 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>F&#38;J Staff</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Jokes]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Stupid Jokes]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.funnyandjokes.com/?p=1531</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[A classroom full of first year Veterinary students were participating in their first day of anatomy class. For the lecture, the professor begins by unveiling a dead cow under a white sheet laying on an operating table.
The professor tells the class "In Veterinary Medicine, there are two qualities you must possess as a doctor - the first of which [...]


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</ol>]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>A classroom full of first year Veterinary students were participating in their first day of anatomy class. For the lecture, the professor begins by unveiling a dead cow under a white sheet laying on an operating table.</p>
<p>The professor tells the class "In <em>Veterinary Medicine</em>, there are two qualities you must possess as a doctor - the first of which is a strong stomach. You cannot, under any circumstance, be disgusted by anything involving an animal's body."<img class="alignright size-full wp-image-1532" title="Cow" src="http://www.funnyandjokes.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/03/cow.jpg" alt="Cow" width="200" height="162" /></p>
<p>For example, the Professor pulls back the sheet and sticks his finger right up the dead cow's butt, pulls out his finger and sticks it in his mouth. The students just standthere, paralyzed at what they see. "Now, go ahead and do the same thing, each of you," the professor says.</p>
<p>Freaked out, the students take several minutes but eventually take turns sticking their fingers up into the anal cavity of the dead cow, and then sucking on them. Once everyone is finished, the Professor continues on with his lesson... "Now, the second important quality you must possess is a keen observation. You see, I stuck in my middle finger up the cow's butt, and I sucked on my index finger... Now, learn to pay attention."</p>
<p>The moral: Life's tough, but it's even tougher when you're stupid.</p>
<p>This joke provided courtesy of <a href="http://www.funnyandjokes.com/">FunnyandJokes.com</a>, all rights reserved.</p>

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</ol></p>]]></content:encoded>
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		<slash:comments>36</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>15 Best Homer Simpson Quotes. Ever.</title>
		<link>http://www.funnyandjokes.com/15-best-homer-simpson-quotes-ever.html</link>
		<comments>http://www.funnyandjokes.com/15-best-homer-simpson-quotes-ever.html#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 02 Jan 2009 01:01:28 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>F&#38;J Staff</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Jokes]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[One Liner Jokes]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Stupid Jokes]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.funnyandjokes.com/?p=1424</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[I was a  big fan of the Simpson's, can you believe how long the show has been around? Everyone has their favorite characters, but mine is definately Homer. This guy says the funniest (and often completely true) things. Here is a list of the all time best Homer Simpson quotes ever.

Son, when you participate in [...]


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</ol>]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>I was a  big fan of the Simpson's, can you believe how long the show has been around? Everyone has their favorite characters, but mine is definately Homer. This guy says the funniest (and often completely true) things. Here is a list of the all time best Homer Simpson quotes ever.</p>
<ol>
<li>Son, when you participate in sporting events, it’s not whether you win or lose: it’s how drunk you get.</li>
<li>Son, a woman is like a beer. They smell good, they look good, you’d step over your own mother just to <img class="alignright size-full wp-image-1426" title="Home Simpson" src="http://www.funnyandjokes.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/01/homer-simpson.jpg" alt="Home Simpson" width="150" height="272" />get one! But you can’t stop at one. You wanna drink another woman!</li>
<li>What’s the point of going out? We’re just going to wind up back here anyway.</li>
<li>I’m normally not a praying man, but if you’re up there, please save me, Superman.</li>
<li>Fame was like a drug. But what was even more like a drug were the drugs.</li>
<li>Books are useless! I only ever read one book, "To Kill A Mockingbird," and it gave me absolutely no insight on how to kill mockingbirds! Sure it taught me not to judge a man by the color of his skin… but what good does <em>that</em> do me?</li>
<li>I hope I didn’t brain my damage.</li>
<li>Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It’s what separates us from the animals… except the weasel.</li>
<li>Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try.</li>
<li>How is education supposed to make me feel smarter? Besides, every time I learn something new, it pushes some old stuff out of my brain. Remember when I took that home winemaking course, and I forgot how to drive?</li>
<li>Old people don’t need companionship. They need to be isolated and studied so it can be determined what nutrients they have that might be extracted for our personal use.</li>
<li>Facts are meaningless. You could use facts to prove anything that’s even remotely true!</li>
<li>How could you?! Haven’t you learned anything from that guy who gives those sermons at church? Captain Whatshisname? We live in a society of laws! Why do you think I took you to all those Police Academy movies? For fun? Well, I didn’t hear anybody laughing, did you? Except at that guy who made sound effects. Makes sound effects and laughs. Where was I? Oh yeah! Stay out of my booze.</li>
<li>You don’t like your job, you don’t strike. You go in every day and do it really half-assed. That’s the American way.</li>
<li>Oh, I’m in no condition to drive. Wait a minute. I don’t have to listen to myself. I’m drunk.</li>
</ol>
<p>Well, that does it for me. If you've got anymore that I missed - or you have your own favorites, add them below in the comments. All the cool kids are doin' it.</p>
<p>This joke provided courtesy of <a href="http://www.funnyandjokes.com/">FunnyandJokes.com</a>, all rights reserved.</p>

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</ol></p>]]></content:encoded>
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		<slash:comments>59</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Actual McDonald&#8217;s Application For Employment</title>
		<link>http://www.funnyandjokes.com/mcdonalds-application-for-employment.html</link>
		<comments>http://www.funnyandjokes.com/mcdonalds-application-for-employment.html#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sun, 16 Nov 2008 04:30:13 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>F&#38;J Staff</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Clean Jokes]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Jokes]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Stupid Jokes]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.funnyandjokes.com/?p=1373</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[These are actual answers on a McDonald's application submitted by a 17 year old kid someplace in Florida. They actually hired him too. I think this kid's gonna go far...
NAME: Greg Bulmash.
SEX: Not yet. Still waiting for the right person.
DESIRED POSITION: Company's President or Vice President. But seriously, whatever's available. If I was in a [...]


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</ol>]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>These are actual answers on a McDonald's application submitted by a 17 year old kid someplace in Florida. They actually hired him too. I think this kid's gonna go far...</p>
<p><strong>NAME:</strong> Greg Bulmash.</p>
<p><strong>SEX:</strong> Not yet. Still waiting for the right person.</p>
<p><strong>DESIRED POSITION:</strong> Company's President or Vice President. But seriously, whatever's available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying here in the first place.</p>
<p><strong>DESIRED SALARY:</strong> $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that's not possible, make an offer and we can haggle.</p>
<p><strong>EDUCATION:</strong> Yes.</p>
<p><strong>LAST POSITION HELD:</strong> Target for middle management hostility.</p>
<p><strong>SALARY:</strong> Less than I'm worth.</p>
<p><strong>MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT:</strong> My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes.</p>
<p><strong>REASON FOR LEAVING:</strong> It sucked.</p>
<p><strong>HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK:</strong> Any.</p>
<p><strong>PREFERRED HOURS:</strong> 1:30-3:30 p.m., Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday.</p>
<p><strong>DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?:</strong> Yes, but they're better suited to a more intimate environment.</p>
<p><strong>MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?:</strong> If I had one, would I be here?</p>
<p><strong>DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING UP TO 50 LBS?:</strong> Of what?</p>
<p><strong>DO YOU HAVE A CAR?:</strong> I think the more appropriate question here would be "Do you have a car that runs?"</p>
<p><strong>HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?:</strong> I may already be a winner of the Publishers Clearing house Sweepstakes.</p>
<p><strong>DO YOU SMOKE?:</strong> On the job no, on my breaks yes.</p>
<p><strong>WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?:</strong> Living in the Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy dumb sexy blonde super model who thinks I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually, I'd like to be doing that now.</p>
<p><strong>DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE?:</strong> Yes. Absolutely.</p>
<p><strong>SIGN HERE:</strong> Aries.</p>
<p>This joke provided courtesy of <a href="http://www.funnyandjokes.com/">FunnyandJokes.com</a>, all rights reserved.</p>

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</ol></p>]]></content:encoded>
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		<title>You&#8217;ve Got Mail!</title>
		<link>http://www.funnyandjokes.com/youve-got-mail.html</link>
		<comments>http://www.funnyandjokes.com/youve-got-mail.html#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 12 Nov 2008 15:53:44 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Shanon</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Clean Jokes]]></category>
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		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.funnyandjokes.com/?p=1364</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Cindy McCain was in her front yard watering her roses when John McCain came out of the house and rushed straight to the mailbox, opened it, looked in,then slammed it shut and stormed back into the house. 
As Cindy was getting ready to prune the roses, John came back out to the mailbox, opened it, [...]


Similar Funny Jokes You Might Like:<ol><li><a href='http://www.funnyandjokes.com/if-george-bush-and-john-mccain-had-a-baby.html' rel='bookmark' title='Permanent Link: If George Bush and John McCain Had A Baby'>If George Bush and John McCain Had A Baby</a> <small>Their love child would probably look like this... It was...</small></li>
<li><a href='http://www.funnyandjokes.com/yo-mama-poetry.html' rel='bookmark' title='Permanent Link: Yo Mama Poetry'>Yo Mama Poetry</a> <small>Roses are red, violets are black, why's Yo mama's chest,...</small></li>
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</ol>]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Cindy McCain was in her front yard watering her roses when John McCain came out of the house and rushed straight to the mailbox, opened it, looked in,then slammed it shut and stormed back into the house. </p>
<p>As Cindy was getting ready to prune the roses, John came back out to the mailbox, opened it, felt all the way to the back,and then slammed it closed harder than ever. </p>
<p>Puzzled by her husband's actions Cindy asked him, "Is something wrong honey?"</p>
<p>To which he replied, "There certainly is! My stupid computer keeps saying, "YOU'VE GOT MAIL." </p>
<p>This joke provided courtesy of <a href="http://www.funnyandjokes.com/">FunnyandJokes.com</a>, all rights reserved.</p>

<p>Similar Funny Jokes You Might Like:<ol><li><a href='http://www.funnyandjokes.com/if-george-bush-and-john-mccain-had-a-baby.html' rel='bookmark' title='Permanent Link: If George Bush and John McCain Had A Baby'>If George Bush and John McCain Had A Baby</a> <small>Their love child would probably look like this... It was...</small></li>
<li><a href='http://www.funnyandjokes.com/yo-mama-poetry.html' rel='bookmark' title='Permanent Link: Yo Mama Poetry'>Yo Mama Poetry</a> <small>Roses are red, violets are black, why's Yo mama's chest,...</small></li>
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</ol></p>]]></content:encoded>
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		<title>Pocket Rocket Jumps Gone Bad</title>
		<link>http://www.funnyandjokes.com/pocket-rocket-jumps-gone-bad.html</link>
		<comments>http://www.funnyandjokes.com/pocket-rocket-jumps-gone-bad.html#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 17 Sep 2008 14:25:32 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>F&#38;J Staff</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Funny Videos]]></category>
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		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.funnyandjokes.com/?p=1238</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[So the other day I bought a pocket rocket for my 8 year old son, man those things are cool. Before long I found myself "test riding" it to make sure it's safe for him... though I was actually enjoying myself.  I found myself wondering if anybody jumped these things... and thanks to Youtube we [...]


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</ol>]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>So the other day I bought a <a href="http://www.minipocketrockets.net/">pocket rocket</a> for my 8 year old son, man those things are cool. Before long I found myself "test riding" it to make sure it's safe for him... though I was actually enjoying myself.  I found myself wondering if anybody jumped these things... and thanks to Youtube we found a few pocket rocket jumps that didn't go quite as planned. Funny!</p>
<p>Ok, so this kid "Troy" hits a ramp in his front yard. Looks like he's going pretty fast... LEAN BACK! Lol.</p>
<p><a href="http://www.funnyandjokes.com/pocket-rocket-jumps-gone-bad.html"><em>Click here to view the embedded video.</em></a></p>
<p>My knees hurt just watching this...</p>
<p><a href="http://www.funnyandjokes.com/pocket-rocket-jumps-gone-bad.html"><em>Click here to view the embedded video.</em></a></p>
<p>And for the finali... (this is a good one)</p>
<p><a href="http://www.funnyandjokes.com/pocket-rocket-jumps-gone-bad.html"><em>Click here to view the embedded video.</em></a></p>
<p>Any of our readers ever ride these things? I seriously was suprised at how cool things there were. Too bad these things weren't around when I was growing up... I feel like I was deprived of some sort of childhood privelage. It was just me and the pedals back then.</p>
<p>This joke provided courtesy of <a href="http://www.funnyandjokes.com/">FunnyandJokes.com</a>, all rights reserved.</p>

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</ol></p>]]></content:encoded>
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		<slash:comments>5</slash:comments>
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		<title>The Purina Weight Loss Diet</title>
		<link>http://www.funnyandjokes.com/purina-weight-loss-diet.html</link>
		<comments>http://www.funnyandjokes.com/purina-weight-loss-diet.html#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sat, 13 Sep 2008 19:07:57 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>F&#38;J Staff</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Clean Jokes]]></category>
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		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.funnyandjokes.com/?p=1223</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Yesterday I was buying a large bag of Purina Dog Chow for Roscoe, our hunting dog, and was standing in line at Wal-Mart getting ready to check out.
A woman behind me asked if I had a dog. First thing I thought was "where's your sign lady" but decided to go with it...SO...On impulse, I told her that [...]


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</ol>]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Yesterday I was buying a large bag of Purina Dog Chow for Roscoe, our hunting dog, and was standing in line at Wal-Mart getting ready to check out.</p>
<p>A woman behind me asked if I had a dog. First thing I thought was "where's your sign lady" but decided to go with it...SO...On impulse, I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, and that I was starting the <em>Purina Weight Loss Diet</em> again.</p>
<p>I said I probably shouldn't, because I'd ended up in the hospital the last time. But that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms</p>
<p>I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is; you load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry, and that the food is nutritionally complete... so I was going to try it again.</p>
<p>I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my story to say the least.</p>
<p>Totally horrified, the lady asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me.</p>
<p>I told her no, I had stepped off a curb to sniff an Irish Setter's ass and a car hit us both.</p>
<p>I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard.</p>
<p>She got upset. Made a complaint. WAL-MART asked me not to shop there anymore. It was worth it.</p>
<p>This joke provided courtesy of <a href="http://www.funnyandjokes.com/">FunnyandJokes.com</a>, all rights reserved.</p>

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		<slash:comments>16</slash:comments>
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		<item>
		<title>British Ingenuity</title>
		<link>http://www.funnyandjokes.com/british-ingenuity.html</link>
		<comments>http://www.funnyandjokes.com/british-ingenuity.html#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 08 Aug 2008 21:05:42 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>F&#38;J Staff</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Clean Jokes]]></category>
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		<description><![CDATA[During WW II a British fighter pilot was shot down over Germany and he was captured by the Nazis. He was hurt pretty bad, so the German doctor amputated his left arm. He requested that they drop his arm over his base in England. So the Germans did.
The next week they amputated his other arm [...]


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</ol>]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>During WW II a British fighter pilot was shot down over Germany and he was captured by the Nazis. He was hurt pretty bad, so the German doctor amputated his left arm. He requested that they drop his arm over his base in England. So the Germans did.</p>
<p>The next week they amputated his other arm and he asked the same thing. The Germans complied.</p>
<p>The next week they amputated one of his legs, and he again asked for them to drop it over his base in England. The German doctor replied, "Sorry, we do dis no more!"</p>
<p>The pilot asked why not, and the German answered, "we think you trying to escape!"</p>
<p>This joke provided courtesy of <a href="http://www.funnyandjokes.com/">FunnyandJokes.com</a>, all rights reserved.</p>

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