Religious Jokes - Page 7

A train hits a bus filled with Catholic school girls and they all perish. They are in heaven trying to enter the pearly gates when St. Peter asks the first girl, " Tiffany, have you ever had any contact with a male organ? She giggles and shyly replies, "Well, I once touched the head of one with the tip of my finger." St. Peter says, " Okay, dip the tip of your finger in the Holy Water and pass through the gate."

Little Janice was not the best student in Sunday school. Usually she slept through class. One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, "Tell me Janice, who created the universe?" When Janice didn't stir, little Johnny, a boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear.

A crusty old man walks into the local First Baptist Church and says to the secretary, "I would like to join this damn church." The astonished woman replies, "I beg your pardon, sir. I must have misunderstood you. What did you say?"

Two buddies, John and Jeff, happened to be two of the biggest baseball fans in America. For their entire adult lives, John and Jeff discussed baseball history in the winter and stufied over every box score during the season. They went to a hundred games a year. They even agreed that whoever died first would try to come back and tell the other if there was baseball in heaven.

George Bush has a heart attack, dies, and goes to hell where he's confronted by the devil. "I don't know what to do," says the devil. "You're on my list... but I don't have any room for you. You definitely have to stay here, so I'll tell you what I'm gonna to do. I've got three folks here who weren't quite as bad as you, I'll let one of them go but you have to take their place. I'll even let YOU decide (since you are, afterall, the DECIDER) who leaves.