Religious Jokes - Page 7

Little Janice was not the best student in Sunday school. Usually she slept through class. One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, "Tell me Janice, who created the universe?" When Janice didn't stir, little Johnny, a boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear.

A crusty old man walks into the local First Baptist Church and says to the secretary, "I would like to join this damn church." The astonished woman replies, "I beg your pardon, sir. I must have misunderstood you. What did you say?"

Two buddies, John and Jeff, happened to be two of the biggest baseball fans in America. For their entire adult lives, John and Jeff discussed baseball history in the winter and stufied over every box score during the season. They went to a hundred games a year. They even agreed that whoever died first would try to come back and tell the other if there was baseball in heaven.

George Bush has a heart attack, dies, and goes to hell where he's confronted by the devil. "I don't know what to do," says the devil. "You're on my list... but I don't have any room for you. You definitely have to stay here, so I'll tell you what I'm gonna to do. I've got three folks here who weren't quite as bad as you, I'll let one of them go but you have to take their place. I'll even let YOU decide (since you are, afterall, the DECIDER) who leaves.

Bill Gates suddenly dies and finds himself face to face with God. God stands over him and says, "Well Bill, I'm really confused on this one. It's a tough decision. I'm not sure whether to send you to Heaven or Hell. After all, you helped society enormously by putting a computer in almost every home in America, yet you also created that ghastly Windows '98 among other indiscretions. I believe I'll do something I've never done before; I'll let you decide where you want to go."