Payoff
At the height of a political corruption trial, the prosecuting attorney attacked a witness. "Isn't it true," he bellowed, "that you accepted five thousand dollars to compromise this case?"
Lawyer Jokes - Page 9
Lawyers are always doing sneaky, slimey, should be illegal things yet they call it the law. So we make fun of them, the dumb laws they make and abate. Enjoy our collection of funny lawyer jokes, but whatever you do don’t show them to an attorney (we don’t want to be sued)!
Oldest Profession
A physician, an engineer, and an attorney were discussing who among them belonged to the oldest of the three professions represented. The physician said, "Remember, on the sixth day God took a rib from Adam and fashioned Eve, making him the first surgeon. Therefore, medicine is the oldest profession."
Not So Bad
An elderly and somewhat hard-of-hearing man was sitting in a stylish downtown attorney's office as his lawyer handed him his will. "Your estate is very complex," said the lawyer, "but I've made sure that all of your wishes will be executed. Due to the complexity, my fee is $4500."
No Jail Time Please
A man who had been caught embezzling millions from his employer went to a lawyer seeking defense. He didn't want to go to jail and asked the lawyer what his chances were."Rest assured," his lawyer told him, "you'll never have to go to jail with all that money.
New Job
An attorney telephoned the governor just after midnight, insisting that he talk to him regarding a matter of utmost urgency.
An aide eventually agreed to wake up the governor.
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