Lawyers are always doing sneaky, slimey, should be illegal things yet they call it the law. So we make fun of them, the dumb laws they make and abate. Enjoy our collection of funny lawyer jokes, but whatever you do don’t show them to an attorney (we don’t want to be sued)!
A Chicago area divorce lawyer died and found his way to the pearly gates. Saint Peter asks him "What have you done to merit entrance into Heaven?" The lawyer thought for a moment and replied, "Last month I gave a quarter to a homeless person on the street." Saint Peter asked Gabriel to check this out in the record, and after a moment Gabriel affirmed that this was in fact true.
A local Goodwill office realized that their organization had never received a donation from the town's most successful lawyer. The manager in charge of financial contributions telephoned the lawyer in an attempt to persuade him to contribute.
A lawyer married a woman who had previously divorced ten husbands. On their wedding night, she told her new husband, "Please be gentle, I'm still a virgin."
A lawyer runs a stop sign and gets pulled over by a Sheriffs Deputy. He thinks that he is smarter than the Deputy because he is sure that he has a better education. He decides to prove this to himself and have some fun at the deputies expense.
An engineer dies and goes to hell. After a while, the engineer gets dissatisfied with the level of comfort in there and starts designing and building improvements. After a while, hell has air conditioning, ingflush toilets, water fountains and escalators - making the engineer a pretty popular guy.
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