Lawyer Jokes

Recently a teacher, a garbage collector, and a lawyer wound up together at the Pearly Gates. St. Peter informed them that in order to get into Heaven, they would each have to answer one question.

A young trial lawyer was defending a man accused of burglary, known for being witty (and the judge knows this) tried yet another one of his creative defenses. The judge, while not known for having a sense of humor, decided to here the young lawyer out.

There was a lawyer, a priest, and a class of young bible school children on a week long winter cruise. A few days into the vacation the ship hits an iceberg and it begins to sink. The priest readies a lifeboat for their escape.

So I was sitting there - staring “the man” in the face. The tax man that is. Tis the season for taxes and the IRS and I don’t get along to well. These guys have been known to intimidate… and it’s working. They guy was sitting there right in front of me and started sharpening his pencil… with this:

A defendant in a lawsuit involving large sums of money was talking to his lawyer. “If I lose this case, I’ll be ruined.” “It’s in the judge’s hands now,” said the lawyer.