Insults and Cutdowns

Feeling alittle dumpy today? Take it out on the people around you with a few well timed, randomly spewed insults. Don’t like the way your co-worker is looking at you? Try one of these…

A young man was at a fancy restaurant one day with his new girlfriend. It’s their first date and everything is going well, barring the occasional period of silence. The girlfriend goes to the restrooms and while she is away, the young man spots somebody at another table that looks incredibly like Bob Barker, the Price Is Right guy. He decides to pop over and approache the guy.

10. Sag! You’re it!

9. Pin the toupee on the bald guy.

8. 20 questions shouted in your good ear.

7. Kick the bucket.

Somewhere, in some office or human resources department… an employee has had a performance evaluation. Most of the time these go well, with someone getting a raise or a boost in moral… other times… not so well. The following are actual quotes taken from various performance evaluation tests at a company (to remain anonymous).

A policeman pulls a man over for speeding and asks him to get out of the car. After looking the man over he says, “Sir, I couldn’t help but notice your eyes are bloodshot. Have you been drinking?”