Top 3 Signs You're Playing Too Much Nintendo Wii

1. You adjust your facial hair in real life to make it easier to create an accurate Mii of yourself.
2. When you continually get gutter balls in real life bowling and then use your Wii-bowl technique and get a strike.
3. You're shocked to see a real baseball game go more than 3 innings.

Top 3 Most Inappropriate Wii Jokes

1. Come over and play with my Wii tonight.
2. I'm playing with my Wii.
3. My Wii is so much fun!

Top 3 Dumbest Wii One-Liner Jokes

1. I've got to take a Wii
2. Houston, Wii have a problem
3. It's so much more fun to Wii with lots of people watching.

Ok I admin, these are some These are Wii-lly bad jokes. If you can do better, post some in the comments!

This joke provided courtesy of FunnyandJokes.com, all rights reserved.

Similar Funny Jokes You Might Like:

1. Light Bulb Jokes These things are classic... and no joke site can claim...
2. Ooh! Some Good Short Jokes! Oh man these are good. Thanks to all our readers...
3. Jay Leno’s Late Nite TV Jokes We stayed up all night (for a few nights actaully) and...

His dad thought about it for a moment, then replied, "I really don't know, son."

The boy sat quietly from another moment, then turned back to his dad and asked, "How does our boat float on the water?"

Once again his dad replied, "Don’t know, son."

Pondering his thoughts again, a short while later, the boy asks "Why is the sky blue?"

Again, his dad replied. "Don’t know, son."

The inquisitive boy, worried he was annoying his father, asks this time "Dad, do you mind that I'm asking you all of these questions?"

"Of course not son." replied his dad,  "How else are you ever going to learn anything?"

This joke provided courtesy of FunnyandJokes.com, all rights reserved.

Similar Funny Jokes You Might Like:

1. Good Golf Advice Back straight, knees bent, feet shoulder width apart. Form...
2. If Men Wrote Advice Columns Q: My husband wants a threesome with my best friend...
3. Words Of Advice (Guess I’m Getting Old) Maybe I'm just getting old, I'm used to folks always...

Top 5 Valentine (Or Love / Marriage) Quotes

1. "The poor wish to be rich, the rich wish to be happy, the single wish to be married, and the married wish to be dead." ~Ann Landers
2. "I recently read that love is entirely a matter of chemistry. That must be why my wife treats me like toxic waste." ~David Bissonnette
3. "It's better to have loved and lost than to do forty pounds of laundry a week." ~Laurence J. Peter
4. "Women are cursed, and men are the proof." ~Rosanne Barr
5. "Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and give her a house." ~Groucho Marx

Top 5 (Lame) Question and Answer Valentine Jokes

Q: What is a ram's favourite song on February 14th?
A: I only have eyes for ewe!

Q: What do squirrels give for Valentine's Day?
A: Forget-me-nuts.

Q: What did the stamp say to the envelope?
A: I'm stuck on you!

Q: What did the light bulb say to the switch?
A: You turn me on.

Add Your Own Jokes

Look I admit, a few of those jokes were lame. Good Valentine's Jokes are hard to come by, why don't you help us out and add some of your own in the comments below, just be sure to keep them family friendly!

This joke provided courtesy of FunnyandJokes.com, all rights reserved.

Similar Funny Jokes You Might Like:

1. Short Lawyer Jokes So how about a few short lawyer jokes? These are...
2. Obama Jokes Look, I can't resist. We've posted a few Obama Jokes...
3. Ooh! Some Good Short Jokes! Oh man these are good. Thanks to all our readers...

This has us wondering, are there any real questions on Y! Answers anymore?

This joke provided courtesy of FunnyandJokes.com, all rights reserved.

Similar Funny Jokes You Might Like:

1. Hung Like A Horse (Moral) There was a chicken and a horse playing together on...
2. What Guys Really Mean When you catch a guy glancing at you, he's actually wondering...
3. Travelling Ventriloquist On A Farm A travelling ventriloquist on the road in between jobs decided...

Look, I'm a golf fan and of all golfers - Woods is perhaps the guy I have had the most respect for. His work ethic is impeccable and he's made it to where he is today because of his determiniation and intelligence. But enough about that, let's get right to the crash jokes.

Best Tiger Woods Crash Jokes

• When asked by the police how many times she hit Tiger, Elin replied "I'm not sure, put me down for a 5"
• I think Tiger needs a new driver, his current shaft keeps getting him in trouble!
• I read that the PGA are now investigating Tiger for having too many "woodies" in his bag!
• Tiger and Elin will get back together because she is already hitting on him.
• After scoring a couple of beautiful birdies earlier on, Tiger finds himself in serious trouble at the last hole, coming home.
• Did Elin use a "rescue club" to extract him from the Escalade?
• Tiger was found exactly two club lengths from his car due to a lost ball penalty - if the cops would have arrived a minute later he'd have lost the other one as well.
• Tiger Woods wasn't seriously injured in the crash, but he's still below par.
• What were Tiger Woods and his wife doing out at 2.30 in the morning? They went clubbing.
• Tiger Woods crashed into a fire hydrant and a tree. He couldn’t decide between a wood and an iron.
• Tiger's tip for wayward golfers: never ask your wife to keep track of your balls.
• I always knew Woods was a better putter than driver.
• Tiger Woods is so rich that he owns lots of expensive cars. Now he has a hole in one.
• What's the difference between a car and a golf ball? Tiger can drive a ball 300 yards.
• If Elin really did whack Tiger a couple of times with a golf club, it would have been in line with the rules of golf: there's a 2-stroke penalty for playing the wrong hole.
• Hey Adidas, this is Tiger, Nike found your number in my phone. I need you to change your name...

This joke provided courtesy of FunnyandJokes.com, all rights reserved.

Similar Funny Jokes You Might Like:

1. Tiger Woods Accident Photo One of our faithful readers sent us this photo, claims...
2. Bus Crash A bus load of politicians...were driving down an old country...
3. Gotcha! It was at a golf competition at the Sun City...

On that note, I got into my car this morning and got a few blocks down the road... only to realize... wow! I just out drove Tiger Woods! Ok, that was kinda lame, feel free to add your own (family friendly) Tiger Woods jokes in the comments below.

This joke provided courtesy of FunnyandJokes.com, all rights reserved.

Similar Funny Jokes You Might Like:

1. Tiger Woods Crash Jokes Call us opportunists, but we've just got to jump on...
2. Top 10 Car Accident Excuses Yea, you've been there before (that's why my insurance is...
3. Blonde Car Accident One day, while a blonde was out driving her car,...

The Economy Is So Bad That...

• I got a pre-declined credit card offer in the mail.
• Exxon-Mobil laid off 25 Congressmen.
• Parents in Bevery Hills are considering raising their own children.
• I saw the CEO of Wal-Mart shopping at Wal-Mart.
• Dick Cheney took his stockbroker hunting.
• A prostitute asked me if she could borrow $20 until she can get back on her back.
• I saw a van full of legal immigrants illegally crossing the border into Mexico.
• I saw four CEOs playing miniature golf.
• Even people who aren't in Barack Obama's cabinet aren't paying taxes.

Oh wait, that's only 9 of them... darn recession is scaling down everything.

This joke provided courtesy of FunnyandJokes.com, all rights reserved.

Similar Funny Jokes You Might Like:

1. The Economic Viruses I think it's fair to say our world economy has...
2. Mexican Jews Cohen and Levy were sitting in a Mexican restaurant. "Cohen,"...
3. The Purina Weight Loss Diet Yesterday I was buying a large bag of Purina Dog...

Due to the current financial situation caused by the slowdown of economy, Management has decided to implement a scheme to put workers of 40 years of age and above on early retirement. This scheme will be known as RAPE (Retire Aged People Early).

Persons selected to be RAPED can apply to management to be eligible for the SHAFT scheme (Special Help After Forced Termination). Persons who have been RAPED and SHAFTED will be reviewed under the SCREW programme (Scheme Covering Retired Early Workers). A person may be RAPED once, SHAFTED twice and SCREWED as many times as Management deems appropriate.

Persons who have been RAPED can only get AIDS (Additional Income for Dependants & Spouse) or HERPES (Half Earnings for Retired Personnel Early Severance).
Obviously persons who have AIDS or HERPES will not be SHAFTED or SCREWED any further by Management.

Persons who are not RAPED and are staying on will receive as much SHIT (Special High Intensity Training) as possible. Management has always prided itself on the amount of SHIT it gives employees. Should you feel that you do not receive enough SHIT, please bring to the attention of your Manager. They have been trained to give you all the SHIT you can get.

Great, as if I didn't get enough shit already....

This joke provided courtesy of FunnyandJokes.com, all rights reserved.

Similar Funny Jokes You Might Like:

1. Dear Blabby Dear Aunt Blabby: My husband is a lying cheat.He tells...
2. Dear Alcohol First let me say that I'm a huge fan of...
3. Top 10 Reasons You Can’t Find A Job Let's face it, finding a good job these days is...

The couple soon found themselves standing in front of St. Peter at the Pearly Gates, welcoming them to Heaven. The young woman asks Peter if they could get married in Heaven, since their time on Earth was cut short. He replies that he'll get back with them on that request.

A month later, St. Peter finds them and announces that they can - in fact - get arried in Heaven. To his suprise, the woman asks "Just wondering, if things don't work out will we be able to get a divorce?"

With a stern look in his eye, Peter blurts out "Look lady, it took me a month to find a preacher up here... you really think I'm gonna find a lawyer?"

This joke provided courtesy of FunnyandJokes.com, all rights reserved.

Similar Funny Jokes You Might Like:

1. The Pope In Heaven The Pope arrives in heaven, where St. Peter awaites him....
2. Worthy of Heaven A man appears before St. Peter at the pearly gates....
3. Qualifying For Heaven Recently a teacher, a garbage collector, and a lawyer wound...

Next up on the tee, Jesus hits a really long drive right towards the very same water hazard. His ball came to rest dead center of the pond, hovering just over the surface of the water. Jesus casually walks out onto the pond, and chips it up onto the green within a couple feet of the flagstick.

Not impressed, the third guy steps up to the tee without taking any time and just randomly whacks at the ball. Rightfully so, the ball is hit with a nasty hook that clears the left OB markers and goes over a fence into oncoming traffic. It bounces off a truck's windshield hitting a nearby tree, bounces onto the roof of the greenkeeper's shed, back out onto the fairway and towards the same pond that Moses and Jesus hit. Before it gets wet, the ball ricochets off a small rock and bounces onto a lily pad on over the water when a bullfrog jumped up and ate the ball. Right at that moment, a bald eagle swoops down and grabs the frog, flying away. As it flew over the green, the frog squeals with fright and drops the ball right next to the flagstick, taking one bounce and landing in the cup for an astounding hole in one.

In disgust, Moses then turns to Jesus and says, "I hate playing with your Dad."

This joke provided courtesy of FunnyandJokes.com, all rights reserved.

Similar Funny Jokes You Might Like:

1. Proof Of Jesus’ Ethnicity For quite some time, there's been heavy debate as to...
2. Jesus Saves Not being much the religious type, I asked a friend...
3. Tough Golf Shot A young man who was also an avid golfer found...