Doctor Jokes - Page 8

I was sitting in the waiting room of the hospital after my wife had gone into labor and the nurse walked out and said to the man sitting next to me, "Congratulations sir, you’re the new father of twins!"

A girl says to her doctor, "You have to help me. I hurt all over."

She touches her right knee with her index finger and says, "Ow! That hurts."

A group of psychiatrists were attending a convention. Four of them decided to leave, and walked out together. One said to the other three, "People are always coming to us with their guilt and fears, but we have no one that we can go to when we have problems." The others agreed.

Physicians:
a. The number of physicians in the U.S. is 700,000.
b. Accidental deaths caused by Physicians per year are 120,000.
c. Accidental deaths per physician is 0.171.
(Statistics courtesy of U.S. Dept. of Health &Human Services)

One day an old lady went to the doctor because she had an itch in her crotch. She told the doctor her problem and he said, "You have the crabs." She informed the doctor that it could not be the crabs because she was an eighty year old virgin.