Doctor Jokes - Page 7

A middle-aged businessman took a young woman half his age as his wife. The fantasy of having a young woman in his bed soon became a nightmare when he found that he could not last long enough to satisfy his young bride.

A woman in her eighties is distraught after the death of her warm, caring, faithful husband of sixty years. She can't live without him and decides that the best way to be with him is to stab herself in her pitifully broken heart. Still, she doesn't want to linger so she calls a doctor to find out exactly where the heart is.

Hello, welcome to the Psychiatric Hotline. Please listen to our menu carefully, as our options may have changed.

• If you are obsessive-compulsive, please press 1 repeatedly.

A woman, after trying everyting and having perhaps worst chronic headache ever, goes to a famous "new age" holistic doctor as a last resort. "Doctor, I have tried everything, but my headache just won't go away."

Doctor: I have some bad news and some worse news.

Patient: Ouch... I suppose you might as well give me the bad news first.