A young man has a great date planned with a hot chick, unfortunately he’s also got a bad case of gas. Upon arriving at the girl’s house to pick her up, he meets the parents and waits for her in the living room while she finishes getting ready.
Now, I’m thankful for the service of our Armed Forces, God Bless the men and women in the Army, Air Force, Marines and Navy. Oh yea, speaking of Navy - one of my friends is a sailor - boy do I know why they’ve got a rep for having bad mouths, hehe. Seriously though, when this joke was sent in I thought of him. Bacon. Yea, what a nickname…
Three friends were playing golf one beautiful Sunday morning, as usual, and they never missed a weekend. As one of them was about to take the first tee a guy, by himself, asked if he could join their flight. The friends looked at each other and figured “sure, why not,” as they haven’t played with anyone else in quite some time.
An elderly couple had been dating each other for 30 years and, at the urging of their friends and family, the finally decided it was time to get married. But first, they agreed they should work out the details of how their marriage was going to be, as to avoid any let downs or misunderstandings.
Two hungry cannibals are walking through the woods and find a man who recently died. Seizing the opportunity, one cannibal says to the other, “Check this out! You start at the feet and I’ll start at the head and we’ll meet in the middle!”