Clean Jokes - Page 33

The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent terrorist threats and have raised their security level from "Miffed" to "Peeved." Soon, though security levels may be raised yet again to "Irritated" or even "A Bit Cross." Londoners have not been "A Bit Cross" since the blitz in 1940 when tea supplies all but ran out. Terrorists have been re-categorized from "Tiresome" to a "Bloody Nuisance." The last time the British issued a "Bloody Nuisance" warning level was during the great fire of 1666.

Back in the day, Britain and France were at war with each other. During a particular battle, French soldiers captured an English Major. Taking the Major to their headquarters, a French general began to question him.

A father passing by his son's bedroom was astonished to see the bed nicely made up and everything neat and tidy.

1. I thought Grace land was tacky.

2. No kids in the back of the pick-up, it's not safe.

3. Do you think my hair is too big?

Two priests decided to go an Hawaiin vacation and they were determined to make this one a real vacation by not wearing anything that would identify them as clergy. As soon as the plane landed they headed for a store and bought some really outrageous shorts, shirts, sandals, sunglasses, etc.