So I was sittin’ at the bar… that’s how most of these go. Loads of funny bar jokes and tales from the pub. Usually end up with some woman mad at you.
A man is sitting at a bar one night, wearing a fancy new watch, covered with buttons and lights and dials. The woman next to him says, "Wow, that's a really fancy watch." Thanks, says the guy, "It's the cutting edge of technology. I can telepathically ask this watch anything I want to know, and it'll answer me, telepathically."
One night a police officer was staking out a particularly rowdy bar for possible DUI violations. At closing time, he saw a fellow stumble out of the bar, trip on the curb and try his keys on five different cars before he found his. The man sat in the front seat fumbling around with his keys for several minutes.
A man sat down at a bar, looked into his shirt pocket and ordered a double scotch.
A man is sitting in a bar and notices two lovely women across the way. He calls the bartender over and says, "I'd like to buy those two beautiful ladies a drink."
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