Bar Jokes - Page 3

A couple had only been married for two weeks. The husband, although very much in love, couldn’t wait to go out on the town and party with his old buddies.

A pissed off wife was complaining about her husband spending all his time at the bar, so one night he took her along.

A man walked into a bar room one day. He walked up to the bartender and said, “Bartender, I’d like to buy the house a round of drinks”. The bartender said, “No problem sir, but I’ll need to see some money first”. The guy pulls out a huge wad of bills and sets them on the bar. Well, the bartender can’t believe what he’s seeing. “Where did you get all that money?”, asked the bartender. “I’m a professional gambler”, replied the man. The bartender said, “There’s no such thing! I mean, your odds are 50-50 at best, right?”. “Well, I only bet on sure things” said the guy.

A bear walks into a bar in Billings, Montana and sits down. He bangs on the bar with his paw and demands a beer.

Before you go out getting sloppy drunk and start phoning every friend, family, relative, or random person you can come across – there are a few rules you must know. Etiquette is very important, especially when drunk dialing.