Bar Jokes

So I was sittin’ at the bar… that’s how most of these go. Loads of funny bar jokes and tales from the pub. Usually end up with some woman mad at you.

A Man Walks Into A Bar With An Alligator On A Leash

The bartender says “You can’t have that thing in here! Get out!” The guy says “It’s okay, this Alligator is highly trained. Just give me a few seconds and I’ll show you.”

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The Not So Stupid Monkey

A man walks in a bar with his pet monkey. He sits down and orders a drink, meanwhile the monkey is running around all over the place and jumps up on a pool table. He grabs the 8 ball, shoves it into his mouth and swallows it hole.

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A Pirate Walks Into A Bar

So this pirate walks into a bar, his old favorite – although he hasn’t been there in a while. Immediately the bartender notices him and says “Haven’t seen ya in a while, where ya been? You look terrible!”

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NASCAR Career Summary For Dale Jr

A man walks into a sports bar with his dog. A NASCAR Sprint Cup race is on a TV. He sits down and asks how Dale Earnhardt Jr. is doing. The bartender says “Dale Jr is in 35th, not doing so well”. The man’s dog jumps up, and runs around
the barstool 35 times.

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The Confessional Booth

After a heavy night of drinking at the local bar, a drunk stumbles into a Catholic church and slowly makes his way into the confessional booth. There, the priest patiently awaits the man to begin his confession.

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