Ok, I gotta admit – I’ve never heard of Captain Falcon until today. Apparently he’s a mysterious F-Zero racer who made a comeback in Super Smash Bros. A recent comment posted by “Bob” in the Chuck Norris Facts post (which by the way has 272 comments… yikes) peaked my interest so, in respect to Jack Bauer and Mr. T (and thanks to Bob) we know have Captain Falcon Facts. Or C. Falcon, or Capt. Falcon, or whatever you want to call him.
This joke was started because Captain Falcon allowed it.
Captain Falcon and Chuck Norris are not one in the same, for in fact Chuck Norris is one of Captain Falcon’s offspring, the other one being Mr. T. He refers to them as Susan and Nancy respectively.
Sonic travels at the speed of sound. Captain Falcon travels at the speed of awesome.
Anything you can do, Captain Falcon can do without limbs.
The last person to have ever said anything bad about Captain Falcon never existed.
Captain Falcon can beat any video game without the game disc, or system.
There once was a new street it was named Captain Falcon dr. Every one who crossed it died. Why? No one crosses Captain Falcon.
Captain Falcon is never late if he is time better slow the @#$& down.
Captain Falcon doesnt wait for time time waits for Captain Falcon.
Jesus walked on water. Captain Falcon swims through land.
Captain Falcon appeared in the “Street Fighter II” video game, but was removed by Beta Testers because every button caused him to do a Falcon Punch. When asked bout this “glitch,” Captain Falcon replied, “That’s no glitch.”
Since the year Captain Falcon was born, Falcon Punch related deaths have increased 13,000 percent.
There are no disabled people. Only people who have met Captain Falcon.
If paper beats rock, rock beats scissors, and scissors beats paper, what beats all 3 at the same time? Answer: Captain Falcon.
Although it is not common knowledge, there are actually three sides to the Force: the light side, the dark side, and Captain Falcon.
God offered Captain Falcon the gift to fly, which he swiftly declined for super strength Falcon Punch ability.
Captain Falcon’s “Falcon Punch” is so powerful, it can be seen from outer space by the naked eye.
If you want a list of Captain Falcon’s enemies, just check the extinct species list.
During a Falcon Punch, the potential energy between his fist and your face is infinity.
Captain Falcon once beat some one to death using only a piece of wet tissue paper, for fun.
Players in Smash get 1-hit KO’d by touching the Ultimate Chimera. The Ultimate Chimera gets 1-hit KO’d by touching Captain Falcon.
After much debate, president Truman decided to drop the atomic bomb on Hiroshima rather than sending Captain Falcon. His reasoning: “its more humane”.
Captain Falcon doesn’t grow hair on his testicles as hair doesn’t grow on steel.
Chuck Norris can throw an iron beam 300 feet in air. Captain Falcon can throw an iron beam 300 feet in the air and catch it with his teeth.
Captain Falcon is so fast that he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of his head.
Ghosts only exist because death cannot process how fast Captain Falcon kills people.
Captain Falcon is suing Myspace for taking the name of what he calls everything around you.
Captain Falcon is like a period; he’s the end to everything.
What'd You Think?
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Captain Falcon Facts was written by F&J Staff on Thursday, February 28th, 2008 at 5:52 pmin Jokes, Other Jokes.
You can follow comments through the Comments RSS feed. Similar jokes and stuff include , Chuck Norris Facts, Jack Bauer Facts, Mr. T Facts, 50 Useless Facts You Really Didn’t Need To Know, 25 Interesting, Yet Useless Facts.
(228 votes, average: 4.46 out of 5)
Great stuff man. People who aren’t big Nintendo fans aren’t going to get it, thus the bad ratings for this joke.
Captain Falcon can play Through the Fire and Flames on Extreme in GH3… with his nipples.
That was the most awesome thing i have ever seen
I almost cried
dude. i cant stop laughing, and i think i’m tearing up
Not very funny facts. And yes, I am familiar with Captain Falcon and the games, these “facts” just weren’t funny.
CAPTAIN FALCON IS SO ****ING BADASS THAT WHEN HE RUNS YOU OVER, HE LEAVES GODDAMN TIRE TREADS EVEN THOUGH HIS ****ING CAR HAS NO. ****ING. TIRES.
They weren’t really funny. Some were, but most weren’t. And yes, i know of Captain Falcon
These jokes ruled! I laughed my ass off at these!
Note: About my name. If you want to know where I got it from, watch “F-Zero GP Legend” (”F-Zero Farukon Densetsu” in Japan)
I like these are mostly chuck norris jokes with Captain falcons name replacing chuck norris
This page is full of lies. There is only one captain falcon fact.
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Dammit!
That was meant to read as
FALCON
PUNCH!
Yeah, like GOGO said, these are Chuck Norris jokes with the name changed. I was wondering if you can maybe make it so that the jokes are related to Captain Falcon in SSB, and his moves? I usually make fun of his purple clothing, and his up+B move in SSB by calling it the Five-Star move, or the 69 move, and also because he says “yes” in a somewhat “Pleasured” way.
The last time captain falcon “Up B-ed” Ness, he was sued for child abuse.
haha thoes were frickin awsome. capt. falcon is my favorate ssb character, so i loved the jokes, especaly “anything you can do capt. falcon can do without limbs”. FALCON PUNCHHHHHH!!!!!!1!!!1!!one!!!1!!!!!!!
lol, these were better than the Chuck Norris jokes, i wish there were more.
*Captain Falcon could have beat; The whole Roman Army, by himself,
whilst playing chess against Yoda (and winning).
He also had Flu at the time.
NAMAZAC can throw the iron beam in the air, but it wont come back down.
NAMAZAC Has a move 5 times stronger than the Falcon Punch, it is the cripler
Captian falcon may move at the speed of awsome, but NAMAZAC doesn’t have to move at all,. the world moves for him
NAMAZAC killed hitler
NAMAZAC is the reason there are no more captian falcon games
We need moar Captain Falcon jokes on the internet.
Captain Falcon Up+B’ed on Ike whilst doing a Great Aether. Ike’s Prosecutor, Miles Edgeworth lost dramatically, because he presented evidence showing pictures, but you couldn’t see the mans face. Captain Falcon just said “SHOW ME YA PROOF!” and won the case.
If Chuck Norris threw a round house kick against the Falcon Punch, everything will be destroyed before they touched.
You know what we need now? Shadow The Hedgehog Facts!
The Falcon Punch is so powerful, it can be seen from the other side of the Universe, by a blind person.
Goku learnt the kamehameha wave from Master Roshi, Master Roshi learnt the kamehameha wave from Captain Falcon
@ SalaComMander: you are absolutely right!! Black Doom (& the rest of the Black Arms) was born from Shadow’s blood! Shadow isn’t based on Super Sonic, Super Sonic is based on Shadow!
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Falcon Punch
Captain Falcon says yes on his up b attack not because he is happy but because his victims ask for forgiveness.
screw captin falcon, i know a fool that would kick his ass all over da place, an he cant catch no brother in MY family
Who other than a ninja could put the beat down on Captain Falcon?
@ blue blur.
Prof. Gerald Robotnik created Shadow using the blood of the immortal Black Doom, and combined the forces of a Norris Roundhouse and Falcon Punch to create the Ultimate Life Form
Most of them were ripoffs of chuck norris jokes, so i dont find it good. some were funny but use your own stuff.
Red Rivan, the jokes are meant to be fictional, no one cares whether Captain Falcon can cath you or not, and you can’t spell for your life
NAMAZAC Sucks,
and Shadow The Hedgehog is a tool.
The only Sonic Games that were good were the originals.
Whoa, hey moron, what do you think you’re doing? First off, your name is “Red Rivan is an idiot, ETC” and you’re only here to insult Red Rivan? Also, you refer to Shadow The Hedgehog as a “tool”? If you haven’t noticed Chuck Norris and Captain Falcon are just as big of “tools” as Shadow, so go insult the “tool” who started this fad, Vin Diesel. Also, watch what you say, jerk, because thoust logic is naught ‘paired to mine own.
Captain Falcon Falcon Punch is so powerful that it go beyond infinity.
it also made the universe but he was too lazy,so he falcon punch to create god to take over.
please don’t kill me,
teach me the FALCON PUNCH!!!