Can You Give Me A Push?


A man is in bed with his wife when there is a rat-a-tat-tat on the door. He rolls over and looks at his clock, and it’s half past three in the morning. “I’m not getting out of bed at this time”, he thinks, and rolls over. Then, a louder knock follows. “Aren’t you going to answer that?” says his wife. So he drags himself out of bed, and goes downstairs. He opens the door and there is man standing at the door. It didn’t take the homeowner long to realize the man was drunk.

“Hi there.” slurs the stranger, “Can you give me a push?”

“No, get lost, it’s half past three. I was in bed.” says the man and slams the door.

He goes back up to bed and tells his wife what happened and she says:

“Dave, that wasn’t very nice of you. Remember that night we broke down in the pouring rain on the way to pick the kids up from the baby-sitter and you had to knock on that man’s house to get us started again? What would have happened if he’d told us to get lost??”

“But the guy was drunk.” says the husband.

“It doesn’t matter.” says the wife. “He needs our help and it would be the Christian thing to help him.”

So the husband out of bed again, gets dressed, and goes downstairs. He opens the door, and not being able to see the stranger anywhere he shouts:

“Hey, do you still want a push?” and he hears a voice cry out “Yeah, please.”

Still being unable to see the stranger he shouts again “Where are you?”

And the stranger replies: “Over here… on your porch swing.”

What'd You Think?

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (28 votes, average: 4.25 out of 5)
Loading ... Loading ...



14 Responses to “Can You Give Me A Push?”

  1. 14
    Kris Says:

    Loved it :P

  2. 13
    Shane Says:

    fantastic dis 1 gets a big LOL

  3. 12
    BABE~GURL Says:

    rofl

  4. 11
    Alyssa Says:

    it took me a little bit 2 igure out but then i started laughing cuz i didnt get it so haha

  5. 10
    Jackey Says:

    he needed a “push” on the swings

  6. 9
    mariah Says:

    i dont get it

    someone explain it to me

  7. 8
    kimani Says:

    hilarious and silly…hailie,it seems ua sense of humour is at 1mph rate!!just kiddin

  8. 7
    Stupid Says:

    This Was Stupid Then Stupid Can Be. Omg. Im. Laughing At Something Else.

  9. 6
    Taytah bug Says:

    Its a cool joke but i wasnt following out my seat laughn doe!!!!!

  10. 5
    Nick S. Says:

    Sean..It’s PMS better known as “Prehistoric Monster Sydrome” :o]

  11. 4
    sean Says:

    HAILIE HAS NO SENSE OF HUMOR, SHE POSTS THE SAME RESPONSE ON EVERY JOKE!

  12. 3
    KatieOkieDokie Says:

    Not really funny..but at the same time funny cause it took me an half an hour to figure it out..lol

  13. 2
    CrazyCon Says:

    LMAO!

  14. 1
    hailie Says:

    thats not funny

Leave a Reply