Bill Gates Meets His Programmer
Bill Gates suddenly dies and finds himself face to face with God. God stands over him and says, "Well Bill, I'm really confused on this one. It's a tough decision. I'm not sure whether to send you to Heaven or Hell. After all, you helped society enormously by putting a computer in almost every home in America, yet you also created that ghastly Windows '98 among other indiscretions. I believe I'll do something I've never done before; I'll let you decide where you want to go."
Bill pushed up his glasses, looked up at God and replied, "Could you briefly explain the difference between the two?" Looking slightly puzzled, God said, "Better yet, why don't I let you visit both places briefly, then you can make your decision. Which do you choose to see first, Heaven or Hell?"
Bill played with his pocket protector for a moment, then looked back at God and said, "I think I'll try Hell first." So, with a flash of lightning and a cloud of smoke, Bill Gates went to Hell.
When he materialized in Hell, Bill looked around. It was beautiful and clean, a bit warm, with sandy beaches and tall mountains, clear skies, pristine water, and beautiful women frolicking about. A smile came across Bill's face as he took in a deep breath of the clean air. "This is great," he thought, "if this is Hell, I can't wait to see heaven."
Within seconds of his thought, another flash of lightning and a cloud of smoke appeared, and Bill was off to Heaven. Heaven was a place high above the clouds, where angels were drifting about playing their harps and singing in a beautiful chorus. It was a very nice place, Bill thought, but not as enticing as Hell.Bill looked up, yelled for God, told him his decision and was sent to Hell for eternity.
Time passed, and God decided to check on the late billionaire to see how he was progressing in Hell. When he got there, he found Bill Gates shackled to a wall in a dark cave amid bone thin men and tongues of fire, being burned and tortured by demons.
"So, how is everything going?" God asked.
Bill responded with a cracking voice filled with anguish and disappointment, "This is awful! It's nothing like the Hell I visited the first time!! I can't believe this is happening! What happened to the other place...with the beaches and the mountains and the beautiful women?"
"That was the demo," replied God.
What'd You Think?
(30 votes, average: 4.17 out of 5)
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this is very nice..good joke. this situation is similar to the software.
ummm ya, that’s the joke… wow
This is disgusting. It’s basically making fun of religion and how you get into heaven. It doesn’t matter what you do in life, you have to accept Jesus and admit that you’ve sinned. this joke is just.. horrid.
It’s not making fun of religion, it’s a joke on Bill Gates. I hate how people like you take offense when anything including religion is involved. Let your mind open up just a bit and see that IT’S A JOKE. And stop preaching while you’re at it, nobody’s listening.
let jesus into my heart!? where will my heart stay then?
lol christianity is retarded
good joke though
lmao awesome.
i hate people who get sticks up their ass everytime they read a religious joke. why are you in this section then, smart one?
Hahaha, good!
Hey guys, this is on the “Religious Jokes”. Please do not get nervous at the joke, it is on the right place.
The other verse,God answerd that’s view was seen first wast only the screensaver,hahaha. Get it?
People don’t seem to understand the bases of religion. Its all just a half-assed way to not be afraid of death. Everyone wants a place to go after death, because they can’t seem to cope with the fact that there is nothing after death. Even hell comforts them, for at least they are still in a ‘being’. I find that rather self-absorbed. All religious people are. “Oh lord, do you see that filthy man. I better hide my purse before that nigger robs me.” I feel very ashamed that I am even remotely associated with the same species.
Why do so many people read religious jokes if they are so easily offended?