About The Michael Jackson Jokes
We're getting absolutely hammered with MJ related searches, which isn't all bad - but some of the comments are. In just the past few days we've had over 2,000 comments posted to the Top Michael Jackson Jokes page. Unfortunately, more than 500 of those had to be removed for being really, really vulgar. We're all about letting you [...]
(155 votes, average: 3.45 out of 5)
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About The Michael Jackson Jokes
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(155 votes, average: 3.45 out of 5) Loading ...
Thanks for the jokes. Since his timely demise, I ve been waiting for the new jokes to make the rounds on my email and haven’t seen any yet. Glad I could go here and find a few wieners, er, winners!
What’s the difference between Michael Jackson and acne?
Acne doesn’t come on your face until you’re 13
Right after Farrah Fawcett died, God asked her for her dearest wish. “I wish all the children of the world could be safe and happy,” she replied. So, God snatched up Michael Jackson.
What’s the difference between Farah Fawcett and MJ? She blew Majors; he blew minors.
im a true M.J fan…this is just low!! not like any of you guys care at all!!!
michael jackson had so much plastic surgery that doctors didnt no weather to cremate him or recycle him
F*ck ALLLLL of u MJ haters…get a life u sad narrow minded a**holes! the mans unfortuntley dead…show some damn respect!
Here’s one: The Jackson family wanted to get the Vienna Boys Choir to perform at Micheal’s funeral, but they couldn’t because that would be really expensive and the choir is also quite busy.
OK, one more: How many MTV moon men did Michael Jackson accumulate in his recording career? ANSWER: I’d guess more than a dozen? 13?
Alright, I’ll do one more and then I have to get this violin back to the Henny Youngman estate… How did Michael’s kids find out that their father was dead?
ANSWER: Probably from close trusted members of the family. Perhaps their grandmother.
Okay! Goodnight USA! Thank you so much!
Question: Why did Michael Jackson always let the boys barely win at a running race?
Answer: He always wanted to come in a little behind.
EXCELLENT JOKES….
Ok i’ve got a really bad one…
Michael Jackson’s girlfriend was interviewed by the press shortly after his death she is quoted as saying ‘I am totally devasted..first my parents leave me in Portugal and now this!’
Lols
Also we’re not being disrespectful, it’s just a joke…tell your face
hmm. thats not even funny. tsk.
get your facts straight. he NEVER molested those kids.
they accused him to get the poor man’s money.
HE LOVED KIDS SO MUCH BECAUSE
ITS HIS WAY TO COMPENSATE FOR HIS OWN CHILDHOOD.
HE WAS ABUSED VERBALLY, EMOTiONALLY AND PHYSiCALLY
BY HIS FATHER.
take some time to read about the guy,
he was he victim of media and those greedy parents.
SHOW SOME RESPECT.
Did you hear that Michael Jackson wrote in his will that he would like to be buried at sea… right in between two “buoys”.
As a mark of respect to Michael Jackson, McDonald’s have up with a tribute burger… 50-year-old meat between 12-year-old buns.
Merii, he was never convicted of molesting kids because it was settled out of court, which is suspicious enough as it is. There were many other people close to the man who have confirmed on camera that he did behave inappropriately towards children. At the end of the day, would you be so defensive of a suspected child molester living in your street if you had children?
Enjoy the music he created because no-one will argue that it wasn’t good but don’t start on other people for jokes no matter how tasteful (or not) they are. They’re jokes and that’s it. There’s many more offensive ones around over people who have led exemplary lives and who have never been in trouble with the police.
all relly funny jokes & the people that care about mj why do you even go on this website man you guys are dum any ways relly funny
ya funny jokes keep them comeing.
Michael Jacksons last words to the paramedics were: “Take me to children’s hospital”
Breaking News…..The autopsy report is in……..As it turns out, it was actually food poisining, authorities are not sure how it happened but apparently he ate a twelve year old weiner…….
yous peepals gots ta quit peckin on dat mj if yous had branes yous be amost dangrous figa it out leaves dat boy awone duumys.
whats the difference between Michael Jackson and Sir Alex Ferguson?
Ferguson will still be playing giggs in August.
Farrah Fawcett Died on the same day as Michael Jackson and Farrah Fawcett dying wish was all the children should be safe on earth and 5 Mins later MJ died
When Farrah Fawcett died, she went up to heaven. At the gates of heaven, she was met and offered one wish. She said she wanted to Save all the Children. So Michael Jackson died.
YOUS NEED SPELL CHECK…KNOT THAT IMA PECKIN AT YOUS
mike cole says:
July 4, 2009 at 2:01 pm
yous peepals gots ta quit peckin on dat mj if yous had branes yous be amost dangrous figa it out leaves dat boy awone duumys.
ok ok i did do it thats why i payed 20 m to keep the case out of court wow that was a close one i will see you all in hell
As you all crack your jokes about Michael Jackson, you should all stop and think about the fact that you too will some day die….What will people say about you….
Michael Jackson spent the last 20 yrs of his life unhappy and dying in front of all of us. Even all the money he had he wasnt happy, God remembers him as he created him…
R.I.P Michael !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You will be missed
Michael saw this comming. Al Sharpton just announced a new Michael Jackson Stamp. Millions of Children will be licking him daily.
I heard Micheal Jackson died of Food Poisoning…. He choked on 12 yr old nuts.
Nicely done website. Just the right amount of hubris to be digestible. Yes, a lot of people didn’t like him, myself included. Though he was not “legally” convicted of child molestation, the fact is he did pay $20 million in 1993 to clean up that mess AND a court of law of not guilty only means the prsecutor didn’t prove their case. It doesn’t say that he didn’t actually do what they charged him for.
Yes, he will be missed, because he will not be there to give us more material for jokes.
Who’s next?
I think that all the people mentioning how bad this site is should remember that this site was first built before Michael Jackson died. Also, there are far worse jokes around than Michael Jackson jokes. Try dead baby jokes, for instance.
My joke:
A movie tribute to Michael Jackson was made as soon as he died. It is Planet of the Apes.
It is a sad world that has no MJ alive in it. I am older than him and remember the first time I heard him and the J5 sing. Fantastic! He is missed. I think he got the whole “love thing” messed up, but his intentions were pure. He was a genius. The jokes are funny in that we all have a lot we should and can laugh at ourselves about, too. I am glad he was on Earth. RIP
Got a metajoke: “What’s the difference between Michael Jackson and Michael Jackson jokes? Michael Jackson jokes can get old.”
Another: “Q: What did Michael Jackson die from? A: Acute little boy. ”
Courtesy of michael-jackson-dead-jokes(dot)blogspot(dot)com
You’re welcome.
WHAT DO MJ HATERS SEE WHEN THEY LOOK IN THE MIRROR?
ANSWER – THEY SEE THEIR FACES LOOKING LIKE BACKSIDES TWISTED INSIDE OUT
Did you here that Wendy’s will have a new frosty named in honor of Michael Jackson? It starts out chocolate and changes to vanilla by the time you’re done.
Whats the difference between M J and greyhounds? At least the greyhounds wait for the “hares” to come out
michael jackson actually died of food poisoning.
the coroner found 6 year old wieners inside him.
YALL ARE HORRIBLE!
I HOPE YOU ALL DIE.
GIVE HIM RESPECT.
YOU ARE GOIN TO HELL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
What do rigor mortis and children have in common? They’re the only two things that could make Michael Jackson hard!
I laugh. I laugh at the ignorance people show on a daily basis. Sickos. Take a look at the three kids…they love their father for reasons. Open your minds to brighter things instead of trying to beat out the joke above you.
When Micheal Jackson died . St Peter requested that Billy Mayes also die. They needed the Oxy Clean for the bedsheets and the Mighty Putty for his nose
madonna sent her condolences to the jackson family then asked how much they wanted for the kids
mj ashes r gonna be put into an etch a sketch so kids can still twiddle his knob
old nursery rhyme-( in UK anyway)
Q-What are little girls made of?, A, sugar and spice and all things nice.
Q- What are little boys made of?, A, MJ’s lifetime ambition was to find out!
No offence, RIP , but your singing was crap.
This is dedicated to all of his devoted fans who are mourning his death. The most classice Michael Jackson joke of all time.
questiion “What does Michael Jackson have in common with K-Mart?”
answer “They both have little boys pants half off.”
whats wrong with you people??????????????????????? All micheal did was try to make every one happy. hes dead now and yall are still bag him you oughta be ashamed.
Michael Jackson really died from food poisoning. He ate 11 year old meat
very nice jokes…..thank u i had a real laugh outta all of this. Im real upset MJ died but a laugh never hurts anyone…. and 4 those ppl that have a problem with all of this… obviously u clicked on a link for this site…..and that link didnt say “michael jackson RIP” anywhere…u knew exactly what u were gettin into. I woulda really liked 2 get 2 one of his gigs b4 he choked on those nuts though…..shoulda read the expiration date. 12 freakin years….Y would u put nuts that young in ur mouth in the first place???? nahh im jk… i dont believe he was a molester. seemed like a guy that just wanted 2 b a kid again. though peter pan wasnt supposed 2 die….. oh well. nothing lasts forever. RIP MJ
Micheal Jackson was a spoiled freak who left his estate in debt from frivolous spending. He wanted to be white. His children were born of white surrogates and white donors. He had so many surgeries on his face he didn’t look human. The spectacle over his death is appalling, covered on all networks. He was a pop singer. I am sad he died so young but let us keep things in perspective. The city of LA is out $4 m for the memorial service. His wealthy entertainer friends should chip in to pay the bill, since the city is already broke. I don’t have a joke, but some of these are very good. I was a fan until the mid 80s. Humor helps the pain sometimes.
Meanwhile soldiers dying in Afghanistan, real heroes, are ignored. This country has our priorities all wrong.
MJ rest in peace but long may the jokes continue
when they went to cremate Micheal Jackson they had to take all the plastic out of him first then after that they didnt know what to do with it so they donated it to legos and they used it to make toys so now little boys get to play with Micheal Jackson instead of Micheal Jackson playing with them.