Archive for July, 2007

This is awsome. One of my all time favorites. George Carlin once said ”You never seen someone talking a sh*t while running at full speed”… well now you do.

This is for all the youngsters out there. Some of you aren’t as experienced with the ‘real world’ as we adults are. Therefore, we’ve got a few tips for you - some are better than others but they’re all quite important. Take notes, live and learn, and… oh yea… don’t feed the animals.

10. Sag! You’re it!

9. Pin the toupee on the bald guy.

8. 20 questions shouted in your good ear.

7. Kick the bucket.

A man was approached by co-worker at lunch who invited him out for a few beers after work. The man said that his wife would never go for it, that she does not allow him to go drinking with the guys after work. The co-worker suggested a way to overcome that problem: “When you get home tonight, sneak into the house, slide down under the sheets, gently pull down your wife’s panties, and give her oral sex. Women love it, and believe me, she’ll never mention that you were out late with the boys.”

A nursery school teacher says to her class, “Who can use the word ‘definitely’ in a sentence?”

First a little girl says, “The sky is definitely blue.”