15 Best Homer Simpson Quotes. Ever.
I was a big fan of the Simpson's, can you believe how long the show has been around? Everyone has their favorite characters, but mine is definately Homer. This guy says the funniest (and often completely true) things. Here is a list of the all time best Homer Simpson quotes ever. Son, when you participate [...]
(203 votes, average: 4.33 out of 5)
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15 Best Homer Simpson Quotes. Ever.
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“Or what will you do Mr. Burns? Release the DOGS? Or release the BEES. Or release the DOGS that have BEES in their mouths, so that when they bark BEES come out at you?”
Omg I luv the simpsons!
“Mhmmmmmm pistol whip”
i love simpsons
my fav moment is in the movie, when marge and the kids go into the store. bart draws mustaches on their faces on the wanted poster, then the shopkeeper turns around, says “It’s them!” and there they are standing in the doorway. LOL!
i can’t say i take note of homer’s quotes.
dude i love the simpsons but my favorite line homer uses is dooooooooooooooooooough
LEAVE DA POOR GUY ALONE………………………………………………………….. HE GOT PROBLEMZ…………………………………………………………………. DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I don’t remember which episode it was exactly, I’m thinking somewhere in season 6, 7 or 8. One of my favorite Homer Simpson quotes:
“Trying is always the very first step towards failure.” -Homer Simpson
After grabbing the electric fence several times: “Why does everything that only happens to stupid people always happen to me?”
PLEASE dont eat me!…av got a wife and 3kids!..EAT THEM!
“Donuts, is there anything they can’t do?”
Homer: Operator, give me the number for 911!!!!!
hahahahaha i cant get over it!!
Kill my boss? Dare I live out the American dream?
It’s funny and true
ive seen the movie a billion times and yet these 2 scenes make me laugh every single time
“he’s not spider pig anymore, he’s harry pauper”
‘ohh i see…then i hear by declair you chicken for life, every morning you’ll wake up to “good morning chicken” at your wedding ill sing *clucks like a chicken to hear comes the bride then gets cut off suddenly as bart jumps on his skateboard and skates off naked*’
Judge declares Homer guilty “Your honour i’d like that last comment stricken from the record”
when marge asks homer to pick lisa from school while coming back home from work..he says”Ohhh..do i hav to do it and do i hav to go to work”..
my favorite ever is “OPERATOR!! Give me the number for 911!!!” haha gotta love homer
LOVE the one where he gives the jesus statue a fist pump =)
seen the episode where bart wants a brother? so funny. or when bart trades his soul 4 dinosaur sponges?
I dont remember the episode. Something blews up in springfield while homer and bart are in the basement then homer is lik “What was that???…..nah who cares”
The most two quotes i most love are:
1- when Homer was calling bart so fearfully, then when Bart says “yes dad!” Homer says “Take the trash out”. that was damn funny.
2- ‘To Start Press Any Key’. Where’s the ANY key?
Im 28, always have & always will love the simpsons! lol
“All right, brain. You don’t like me and I don’t like you, but let’s just do this and I can get back to killing you with beer.”
“All right, let’s not panic. I’ll make the money by selling one of my livers. I can get by with one.”
“If there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that life is one crushing defeat after another until you just wish Flanders was dead.”
“I don’t apologize. I am sorry Lisa, that’s the way I am.”
“Dear Homer, IOU one emergency donut. Signed Homer. Bastard! He’s always one step ahead.”
“First you don’t want me to get the pony, then you want me to take it back. Make up your mind.”
“I don’t want to go, so if he asks me to go, I’ll just say, ‘Yes!’”
“I know you can read my thoughts, boy : Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow.”
“I wonder where Bart is, his dinner’s getting all cold …… and eaten.”
Don’t you just love Homer’s “logic”?? Makes me lol!!! Still, this is my fave of allllll time!!!
“Operator, give me the number for 911″ hehehehehehe
Ralph is just as awesome as Homer though!! I remember more of his quotes than Homers. Love these…
“Hi, Super Nintendo Chalmers!”
“Mrs. Krabappel and Principal Skinner were in the closet making babies and I saw one of the babies and then the baby looked at me.”
“Eww, Daddy, this tastes like Gramma!”
“The doctor said I wouldn’t have so many nose bleeds if I kept my finger outta there”
Ralph: “Daddy, I’m scared. Too scared to even wet my pants.”
Chief Wiggum: “Just relax and it’ll come, son.”
“That’s where I saw the Leprchaun. He tells me to burn things!”
“I heard your dad went into a restaurant and ate everything in the restaurant and they had to close the restaurant”
“My cat’s breath smells like catfood.”
“Bushes are fun cause they dont have prickles. Unless they do like this one did. Ow”
“I’m learn-ding”
Chief Wiggums cool too. His incompetence cracks me up!!
“See ya in court, Simpson. Oh, and bring that evidence with ya, otherwise, I got no case and you’ll go scot-free.”
“I hope this has taught you kids a lesson: kids never learn.”
“Oh, sure. We’d all love some real friends, Marge. But what are the odds of that happening?”
“This is Papa Bear. Put out an APB for a male suspect, driving a… car of some sort, heading in the direction of, uh, you know, that place that sells chili. Suspect is hatless. Repeat, hatless.”
“She didn’t reckon with the awesome power of the Chief of Police! Now where did I put my badge?…Hey, that duck’s got it!”
“Can’t you people take the law into your own hands? I mean, we can’t be policing the entire city!”
Homer: You know, if you let us go, there’s a diamond necklace in it for you.
Wiggum: I hope you’re not suggesting that I would take that necklace as a bribe. Think again, dirtbag, cause I can swipe it later from the evidence locker.
Wiggum: [answering phone] 9-1-1. This’d better be good.
Marge: I just cut off my husband’s thumb!
Wiggum: ATTEMPTED MURDER?! YOU’LL BURN FOR THIS! BURN IN JAIL!
Marge: It was an accident!
Wiggum: Yeah, yeah. Save it for “Dateline: Tuesday.” Uh, what’s your address so I can come arrest you?
Marge: Arrest me? Um, my address, it’s um, 1-2-3 … Fake Street.
Wiggum: [writing address down] 1-2-3 Fake Street. Okay see you soon!
Lol I love homer simpson
“I have three kids and no money, I wish I had no kids and three money.”
” It’s because they are stupid, that’s why everybody does everything “
Lisa: NO!! Bullfighting is a cruel-pseudo sport!
Homer: yeah, lisa’s right, it is a cool-super sport.
haha BEST SERIOUS EVER!!!! I’m 24 and a watch it everyday without fail.. I love it
Yea my fave is what Justin ^^ said. . . ” I have three kids and no money, I wish I had no kids and three money”
And gotta love Ralph. . . .”It says I choo choo chooose you, and there’s a picture of a train on it” . . . .
And Gill is high up there in the coolness department . . . . When he goes to sell homer a car but the other old mate takes over and Gill calls his wife . . . ………
“Honey, you should have seen me with my last customer, I … no, but I came so close. This guy was as … Whose voice is that? Is that Fred? … Aw, you said it was over … No, don’t put him on — Hello, Fred, h-hi.”
Lol poor gill has had sooo many jobs.. .
when Homer meets Michael Jackson…
‘Hi i’m Michael Jackson of the Jacksons, Hi i’m Homer Simpsons of the Simpsons.’
” I know, I’ll sink to the bottom and run to the shore!! ”
x
Stupid sexy Flanders! lol
spiderpig, piderpig, does whatever a spiderpig does, can he swing, from a web, no he cant, hes a pig, look ooooooouuuuut, cause hes a spider pig….
my fave has to be “just because I don’t care, doesn’t mean I don’t understand”
chalmers: im not bald im balding. why wont anyone honor the the ding?
skinner: i honr the ding sir.
chalmers: what the hell are you talking about?
homer-z funniest, z dumpst a guy could b
I love Homer’s dad!
Like in the movie when marge is trying to figure out his “godly experience”
she writes down notes of what he said.
Marge:”twisted tail, a thousand eyes. What does it all mean?”
Grandpa:”I’m pretty sure a thousand…….is a number.”
One episode Homer gets in trouble for not spending enough time with the kids. He tries harder and Lisa is swinging on a tire swing and she’s becoming tired. He teaches Bart to ride a bike. When Bart tell’s him he liked his “half-assed” approach better and Homer J replies: “BUT I’M USING MY WHOLE ASS!”
dude u missed DDDDDDDDOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
the funniest has to be when Homer and Bart are making beer in the basement after something explodes marge comes down to ask and Homer responds, “Must’ve been that bean i had…”
fist pumps are what make me awsome because i am the best at it take that world.
my fav quote is “Don’t you give ME half the peace sign!”
Homer and Bart playing a dare contest on the roof of their house…Homer:i dare you to climb the TV antenna.Bart :piece of cake!
mmmm donutss
“Yeah Moe that team sure did suck last night. They just plain sucked! I’ve seen teams suck before, but they were the suckiest bunch of sucks that ever sucked
“Bart stop drkn nw!i promise i wil stmp 2morow
“Omg, english instructions gone! Must use french instructions! Le grille? What the hell is that??”