15 Best Homer Simpson Quotes. Ever.
I was a big fan of the Simpson's, can you believe how long the show has been around? Everyone has their favorite characters, but mine is definately Homer. This guy says the funniest (and often completely true) things. Here is a list of the all time best Homer Simpson quotes ever.
Son, when you participate in [...]
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15 Best Homer Simpson Quotes. Ever.
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I’ll have two tax-burgers, one dependant size soda, and a fica-cino
They have the internet on computers now.
Ahhh. Everyone’s stupid except me.
(playing hookey from church, he says this just before falling asleep with a cigar and burns his house down)
save me Jebus!
Ahhhh! The only thing dumber than you is me.
Spiderpig spiderpig. Does whatever a spiderpig does.
Doh!
uqh this one was funny
)
hehehehehehehehe
i loved it
Homer is definitely my favourite Simpsons character as well!
Marge: Homer, the plant called. They said if you don’t show up tomorrow don’t bother showing up on Monday.
Homer: Woo-hoo. Four-day weekend.
Yeah, Moe, that team sure did suck last night. They just plain sucked! I’ve seen teams suck before, but they were the suckiest bunch of sucks that ever sucked!
(sung to the Flintstones song): Simpson! Homer Simpson! He’s the greatest guy in history. From the, Town of Springfield! He’s about to hit a chestnut tree! *hits tree*
What’s a wedding? Webster’s dictionary describes it as the act of removing weeds from one’s garden.
*Looks at Uruguay on a globe* Hee hee! Look at this country! ‘You are gay.’
Vampires are make-believe, like elves, gremlins, and eskimos.
Please don’t eat me! I have a wife and kids. Eat them!
(sung) i am so smart! i am so smart! S – M – A – T i am so smart!
“aww i have three kids and no money. Why can’t I have no kids and three money?”
“quit jiving me turkey! you’ve got to sass it. quit jiiiiiiving me turkey! you’ve got to sass it! (pause) a turkey is a bad person.”
“don’t worry money. All that money is money.”
“and did you know that jesus grew up to be…JESUS?”
theres loadds more lol
Marge, you’re as beautiful as Princess Leia and as smart as Yoda
When I look at the smiles on all the children’s faces, I just know they’re about to jab me with something.
If something goes wrong at the plant, blame the guy who can’t speak English.
You don’t like your job, you don’t strike. You go in every day and do it really half-assed. That’s the American way
So true.
Homer:”How is education supposed to make me feel smarter? Besides, every time I learn something new, it pushes some old stuff out of my brain. Remember when I took that home winemaking course, and I forgot how to drive?”
Marge:”thats because you were drunk!”
Homer: “And how…”
i just thought id add that last part hihii soo funnnyyy,,,
thanks sooo much i got a good laugh!
Me and my mates LOVE this one!!
On Simpsons Movie, Homers in the car with spider pig at the dumpster. Lenny calls him to tell Homer that LardLads are giving out free donuts and Homer says: Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god!! (fast!) ha ha ha
“Everyone knows that Rock & Roll attained perfection in 1974, it’s a scientific fact!” – (I remeber this one because it’s true)!
YO MARLEY I KNW I’M 11 YRS OLD BUT IF UR SO SMART WHY’D YOU SPELL SMART AS s-m-A-t NO R HA HA LOSER! SO STUPID! IN UR STUPID WAY CUZ THAT IS STUPID YEA AND I TLD YOU BASICLY THAT UR STUPID OK MISS “SMART” OR SHOULD I SAY SMAT? HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HE HE HE! BIG L!
UM MARLEY R U EVEN A MISS OR A MR? CUZ IDK
HI I’M POOP AND I POOPED ALL OVER THIS JOKE AND MY COMPUTER IS COVERED IN DIARIA HA HA HA LOL DIARA! BY THE WAY ROCK ON LEBANON!!!!! AND ISRAEL STINKS!!!!! LIKE MY POOP!
Haha Natalie you are the person with the big L
Marly said it how it goes in the song…
Learn your Homer before insulting
personally i think family guy is funnier but i do have a chuckle over the simpsons
“go suck a bible!”
Check your spellings you inbred oafs.
p.s. jump, jump, land, land.
wow natily, you are retatded. first off you seem like an idiot posting in caps and noone likes it, second, learn how to spell. I don’t really care if someone spells it wrong, it dosn’r matter, but when you leave 1 letter out it’s just annoying; third that was a joke from the simpsons that was plain as day.
Jesus! What has the internet become!
and CACA (A.K.A. Natilie) save that cr.ap for funnyjunk. noone finds it funny
Woo hoo!!! I’m a College man!!! I don’t need my high school diploma anymore!!! *lights high school diploma on fire* I am so smart, I am so smart, I am so smart, I am so smart, S.M.R.T, I mean S.M.A.R.T *house is on fire*
the sun!! thats the hottest place on earth
homers working on the computer and thee computer says: ‘press any key’ and homer asks himself: ‘the “any key” hmm, where is the “any key”? and searches for it and when he cant find it he just presses any key..:D
Natalie, how bout you get a life. Israel owns you and how bout you stop being racist, and also, it was a joke that SMAT thing. We all know its SMART. thanks for that, tho. (sarcastic)
it’s look like natalie never watch the simpsons. it’s all about homer! it’s not about einstein for God sake! watch the simpsons first or stay on mars!
I still think one of the best ones ever is when Homer goes back to college and the nerds get expelled.
Good old Snake approaches them and tells them he’s the wallet inspector, then after they give over their wallets Homer notes sadly
“Hey, that’s not the wallet inspector”
“Ahh beer: the cause of and solution to all life’s problems” one of my favorites!
Natalie first of all take caps lock off, it’s obnoxious. Next, have you ever watched The Simpsons? Of course he spelled it “SMAT” that’s the joke. You say you’re eleven? Well at least a fifth grade education would teach you how to make a proper sentence: “IN UR STUPID WAY CUZ THAT IS STUPID YEA AND I TLD YOU BASICLY THAT UR STUPID OK MISS “SMART” OR SHOULD I SAY SMAT?” I don’t want to sound like a whiny little b*tch like you but that just makes me want to punch you, I’m only a year older than you and I can understand that it’s a JOKE, how funny huh? A joke, on a joke site.
Anyway.
Homer: Lisa, you’re a Buddhist, so you believe in reincarnation. Eventually, Snowball will be reborn as a higher lifeform… like a snowman.
lol
lol. brilliant. all the quotes are wicked. Natalie- you got owned. Which in itself is one of the best jokes…GO HOMER!!
. . . one IRSwich, withhold the lettuce
Mick Jagger: “Come on Homer, It’s only rock and roll camp”
Homer: “But i like it”
“I’ll give you this cloroform if you take us to The Who”
“Oh Lisa, you and your stories, Bart’s a vampire, beer kills brain cells. Now let’s go back to that . . . building place . . . where our beds and TV . . is?”
“Extended warenty, how could I lose!”
“Ok computer, kill Flanders!”
“Lisa, I’d like to buy your rock”
“Remember when your little cat Snowball got run over? Huh, remember? Well what I’m saying is all we need to do is go down to the pound and get a new Jazz man”
I can’t remember the exact quote and hope someone might post it for me, but one of the funniest scenes ever for me is when Lisa tells Homer that pork, ham and bacon all come from the same animal and Homer says something like “Oh, a magical animal etc…….” Still laugh every time I see it.
omg natalie, think about it, if we are talking about the simpsons, then homer would say something like that, duh!!! smarty pants
I am so smart! I am so smart! S-M-R-T I mean S-M-A-R-T!
DUH Natalie. What exactly were you trying to prove? That you are idiot, or that you haven’t had a decent education? You must have lived under a rock all these years. Weirdo. I know smarter kids.
Jeez, weird kids and their weird kiddie ego!
Homer: Lisa, vampires are make believe. Like elves, gremlins, and Eskimos.
Homer: The Baby can ahve Bart’s room, and Bart can sleep with us
Marge: Won’t that warp him?
Homer: No, my cousin Frank did it
Marge: You don’t have a cousin Frank
Homer: He changed his name to Franceen back in 74′ and joined that cult… I think his name is Mother Shabooboo now.
Lol.you guys all just burned Natalie,like crazy.
Well i was gonna post one up but most of the ones i was gonna say are posted on here like 3 times so nah.
And btw Natalie is she mental or somthing.
Telling someone they cant spell,get it right the first time that way you dont look like an ass, a little to late for that now but still.That was just pure stupidity.
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natalie..
it was suppose to b funny >.<
your an 11 year old that doesnt think before she speaks !
Save me jebus!!!!! and other things like that. But what about Ralph???
“My cats breath smells like cat food” and “I bent my wookie”??? and “I like men now” come on, springfields bedwetter needs some respect!!!!
wow… inbred oafs huh? bit insulting…
its i am so smart i am so smart s-m-a-t i mean s-m-a-r-t
Homer: Lisa, would you like a donut?
Lisa: No thanks. Do you have any fruit?
Homer: This has purple in it. Purple is a fruit.
wow its September, and I’m the newest one,,, YEAHHHH
thank you jebus!!
“Ah, alcohol. The cause of, and solution to, most of life’s problems!”
Darn this Smarch weather!!